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Trump’s Biggest Danger: Too Much Truth

May 4, 2016 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

Trump's Biggest Danger: Too Much Truth

It might strike you as strange to think that Donald Trump’s biggest danger is too much truth. After all, The Atlantic just ran a story called “Trump’s War On Truth” that laid out how often Trump deliberately and manipulatively lies in order to smear his opponents. Yes, he tells some whoppers. But why do people believe them? Because he speaks to a deeper, darker truth. Let me explain.

Mussar teaches that too much of a Soul Trait is as bad as not enough. Too little Truth undermines Trust, meaning that you won’t be believed even when you are being honest. Too much Truth can leads to a lack of kindness. You have probably heard the expression, “Truthful to a fault.” Mussar teaches that we should only speak if we can bring good into the world. Just because it is true doesn’t mean that we should say it! I think all kinds of things. They are better left unsaid.

Here’s another Mussar lesson about Truth: There is no absolute Truth, or put put another way, only God knows the full Truth. If you are unsure of the Divinity, think of it this way – our perceptions limit our ability to know exactly what happened. Two people can be in the same room, and walk out with two completely different versions of what happened. They each in a sense have their own Truth. And this is where Trump gets dangerous.

Trump’s biggest danger is not that he promotes lies but that he speaks his Truth out loud. He believes what he says, and broadcasts his beliefs.

Last summer a retired friend in Syracuse told me she was aghast at how many people in her apartment building supported Trump. They all said the same thing: “He says exactly what I’m thinking.” Many people think his candor is a good thing. His success shows us how hungry people are for an authentic politician. For example, when Trump said that Mexican immigrants are criminals and rapists, some people gave him credit for “telling it like it is.” I don’t think Trump was lying – I think he believed what he said. He is a racist. (If you don’t believe that racism is alive and well in  America, see this insightful article by Jenee Desmond-Harris in the New York Times.) Donald Trump is the very definition of a racist because no one but a racist would hang on so fiercely to the birther claims about President Obama.

Trump’s blatant racism is a rallying cry for everyone who is consciously or unconsciously unhappy about eight years of a black President. If a significant portion of the American people didn’t resonate with Trump’s racist messages, he would not have the support that he does. This terrible truth is something that we as a country have tried to deny.

Trump’s biggest danger is that he appeals to the Evil Inclination in all of us

As a reminder, Judaism and Mussar teach that the Evil Inclination represents our animal drives, such our fight or flight response, sexual urges, and the fear of the unknown. The Evil Inclination is an essential part of who we are, but it must be guided by our Good Inclination. Trump in many respects appears to be an example of the Evil Inclination run amok. And in a very real, charismatic way, he draws on our Fear of the Other. We just relearned one of the most import lessons in the Torah regarding the Other on Passover:

“You must neither wrong nor oppress a foreigner living among you, for you yourselves were foreigners in the land of Egypt.  – Exodus 22:21, CJB”

We repeat this lesson year after year because it is extraordinarily hard to do! If it were easy, we wouldn’t need the lesson. While I hope that few of us are raging racists like the KKK, I believe that all people have unconscious bias. Once when I was in college, I was hanging out in my girlfriend’s sorority. The doorbell rang, and when I answered it, a black student was there. He asked for “Jane.” I was nervous, and had him wait outside. Five minutes later he was in the living room,  with Jane sitting on his lap; he was her boyfriend. He just looked at me. I felt like a complete and total jerk. My Evil Inclination got the better of me that day. I could have made a different choice, to overcome my fear and welcome the stranger in. I’ve learned a few things since then, and have not made that particular mistake again. But I have no illusions that I am without bias, and I certainly have an active Evil Inclination.

Our job is not to judge Trump supporters, or let our emotions drive us to disrespectful speech and actions. To do so would be to surrender to the Evil Inclination. If you don’t like Trump, speak out, donate money, or volunteer time to keep Trump from getting the power of the Presidency. But flaming on social media, or remaining silent when rocks are thrown at Trump supporters won’t make the world a better place, and won’t further our spiritual journey. None of us are without bias.

As practitioners of Mussar, our primary mission is to be the best people we can be. We don’t get a free pass to behave badly just because the future of the country is at stake. Anti-Trump people I’m talking to you too.

Imagine what would our nation – and the world – look like if our personal truth acknowledged that each of us is created in the image of the Divine. Use this moment, when Trump is one vote from the Presidency, to look within and find one small step to see the Other with a gentle eye. You’ll be amazed at how transformational small steps can be.

 

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Filed Under: Featured, Truth Tagged With: donald trump, Mussar, truth

The One Thing You Should Know About Passover

April 20, 2016 By Greg Marcus 5 Comments

One Thing You Should Know About Passover
Photo by Richard Rubin via Flickr CC

Passover is a wonderful holiday for getting together with friends and family. In fact, a Passover Seder is probably the most common Jewish practice in America. We like the ceremony, the special foods, and complaining about the Matzah. There is one thing you should know about Passover but probably don’t.

I  just learned it, and  my view of Passover has changed considerably. For me, Passover moved from being a holiday of Joy to a holiday of Joy AND an opportunity for spiritual growth. The Hebrew word for Egypt is translated as “narrow place.” Slavery in Egypt confined us to a narrow place, with constrictions on our physical, emotional, and spiritual lives. The Exodus is the story of liberation from the things that hold us back.

Rabbi Nachman of Bratzlov (1772-1822) said, “The Exodus from Egypt occurs in every human being, in every era, in every year, and in every day.” I admit it – the quote gives me chills. What an amazing opportunity we have every day – to liberate ourselves from what holds us back. Each Choice Point* we face is an opportunity for liberation.

So the one thing you should know about Passover is that is is an opportunity for spiritual growth. Why not use this Passover as an opportunity to rededicate yourself to your Mussar practice? I suggest restarting with Enthusiasm, which teaches us to focus on proactively doing good things. And, it reminds us to finish the task. What is one small thing you can do to proactively to bring good into the world. And let me know if I can help!

*A Choice Point is the type of decision where we sit on the cusp of following the path of the Good Inclination or the Evil Inclination. See this post for more

If you are new to Mussar, the Four Week Challenge is a great way to get a taste.

Filed Under: Enthusiasm, Featured Tagged With: Mussar, mussar passover, narrow place, passover, Rabbi Nachman of Bratzlov passover

Four Conversation Starters for Your Seder

April 18, 2016 By Greg Marcus 3 Comments

Four Conversation Starters for Your Seder
What am I supposed to do with all this matzah?

Does your Seder conversation ever get boring? Passover means many things to many people. Sometimes there is a raucous conversation. Sometimes the kids dominate. Sometimes the Jews are outnumbered. What counts is that people come together. Whatever the character of your Seder this year, you may come across a moment where you want to change the direction of conversation. Whether it needs a jump start or a right turn, here are four conversation starters for your Seder.

What am I supposed to do with all the Matzah?

It seems that Costco packaging has taken over Matzah distribution. The supermarket seems to only carry multi-pacs of Matzah. (Maybe this is just a California thing.) My family just doesn’t need this much Matzah. We have our traditions like Nutella, PB&J, and tuna. We used to try to make Matzah Brei (which is kind of like Matzah french toast).  Even so, we come no where near finishing our Matzah stash. And that conversation is old. What are some creative things to do with Matzah? It seems like Matzah could make a good building material with legos, or could be used to clean up spills or stop flooding. Is it ok to donate to a homeless shelter, or is it cruel to pass on the bread of affliction to those who are already struggling?

Do you tend  towards too much or too little Order in your life?

Seder is the Hebrew word for Order. When we have a Passover Seder, notice how we use the Haggadah to guide us through the ceremonial meal. There is a certain order to things. At the same time however, every Seder is different. One year we may spend  more time on telling the story of the Exodus, and another there may be a skit about the plagues. The best Passover Seders embrace balanced order – they stick to the stories and rituals, but are flexible to meet the needs of the particular audience.

Four Conversation Starters for Your Seder
Spectrum Diagram of the Soul Trait Order

Order is also a soul trait in Mussar. You guessed it, Order governs, among other things, how orderly we are. (Order also governs the Laws of Nature, but that is the subject of another post.) We all share the Soul Trait of Order, but have different amounts of it. People on one extreme never plan anything, and live in a perpetual state of chaos. On the other end of the spectrum, people can bring so much order and control that it stifles freedom.

After someone answers, ask his or her spouse or partner. I think Order is one area where opposites attract.

What are you Grateful for?

We tell the story of the Exodus every year to remind us that we were slaves, and now we are free. We sing the song Dayenu as a means of saying thank you for all the things God did for us when we were liberated from Egypt. BTW, I am a bit of a scrooge when it comes to the song. This video of the Maccabeets singing Dayenu both captures the lethargy I feel, as well as transforms Dayenu into something cool.

Whatever you think of the song, Passover is a great opportunity to enumerate the things we are grateful for. Mussar practitioners will know to find something to be grateful for even in the bad or ordinary.

What is your narrow place?

The Hebrew word for Egypt is literally translated as “narrow place.” So the story of the Exodus can be a metaphor for personal transformation. We all have a narrow place, something that constricts us and holds us back. Often, we need the strength of community to help us get through. Passover is a great opportunity to deepen community connections.

Happy Passover!

You might also like: The One Thing You Should Know About Passover

Image Credit: #snoopy gets ready for #Passover #Peanuts #squirrelhill #pittsburgh by Harriet Schwartz via Flickr CC

Filed Under: Featured, Order Tagged With: Mussar, order, passover, seder

Feeling Overwhelmed? Try a Mussar Solution to Stress

April 1, 2016 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

Mussar Solution to StressIt was a stressful time for me, perhaps one of the most stressful times since I left the corporate world six years ago. I was trying to raise money for a Mussar app called the Pocket Mensch, and we were falling short.  I was overwhelmed, felt alone, and felt cut off from my Mussar practice. I asked myself, “What is going on? Isn’t Mussar supposed to help me here?” The Evil Inclination had the upper hand, and was feeding me messages that Mussar was useless. Glad to say that there is Mussar solution to stress.
Mussar helped, but, I had to fight to get myself back on track. Here are three soul traits that were impacted by my stress. By focusing on them, I found balance and healing.

Order as a Mussar solution to stress

Order is the Soul Trait that governs planning, how we structure our lives, as well as the very organization of our thoughts. Stress makes me miss appointments, ignore my to do list and lose things. Then I get frustrated and embarrassed. For me, Order is the canary in a coal mine. When Order breaks down, it is a signal to slow down. I started looking for simple ways to bring just a bit more order to my life, like putting things away immediately. And, I focused on slowing down and planning my day. Finally, I tried to get back to meditating. Just a few days of short meditations helped a lot.

Humility as a Mussar solution to stress

Humility out of balance leads to an excessive focus on the self. In my mind, it was all about me. No one would help me. It was unfair; I was sunk and doomed. Sound familiar? (Hope so, I’d hate to think I am the only one who gets this way.) I made a conscious effort to stop complaining, and to start asking for help. My family helped at home, and I others helped with the work-related stuff. The reality is that we are not alone. We all have people there to help us. (Not sure who to ask? Send me an email and I’ll try to help you.)

Trust as a Mussar solution to stress

Trust is short for Trust in God. If you are unsure of the Divinity, think of it as Trusting the Universe. Most things work out far better than our fear says they will. Something that seems awful today may have a kernel of good that will to something awesome.
Normally Trust is a source of strength for me, but when I was overwhelmed, it seemed like an alien concept. I don’t think the Trust was gone, it was simply blocked by the Evil Inclination.
Fighting and willing myself to Trust did no good, and just led to more frustration. Finally, I just let go, and decided to stop worrying about the outcome of the crowdfunding campaign. At 3 in the morning, I bolted awake with a sense of peace and Trust. And, I had a fully formed plan in my head to create the app for far less money.  I took a few notes, went back to sleep, and then woke to find a text from a supporter waiting for me. It was a sign from the Universe.

Gratitude as a Mussar solution to stress

Gratitude is a bonus. Mussar teaches to be grateful for the good and the bad. It was hard for me to do either. Then, I read what I wrote in the 15 minutes of gratitude challenge earlier in the year. I realized that I have so much in my life, which helped immensely.
Today I feel so Grateful that almost 100 people contributed to the crowdfunding campaign, for my family, and for my cats. And I am grateful to my Mussar practice and community that helped me get back on track.
Want to start your own Mussar journey? Take the Soul Trait Profile Quiz now.
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Filed Under: Featured, Humility Tagged With: Mussar, mussar gratitude, Mussar humility, mussar order, mussar trust, soul trait, stress

Get Drunk On Purim – It Is Required

March 23, 2016 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

get drunk on purim
Purim hamentashen by Nate Steiner via Flickr CC

If you are Jewish and celebrate Purim, you might know that we are commanded to get drunk on Purim. In fact, tradition says that one should be so drunk that you can’t tell the difference between Haman and Mordechai.

For those of you who are not familiar with the story, Haman is the villain who tried to have the Jews exterminated, and Mordechai is one of the good guys who opposed him. Rabbis, scholars and everyday Jews have joyously followed this tradition, and of course debated what it really means for thousands of years. I won’t try to recapitulate their various arguments – indeed I haven’t read up on the subject. My understanding comes from Rabbi Jennifer Clayman, who taught me one interpretation: For most of the year we are expected to be restrained, thoughtful and dignified. For one day a year, it is important to cut loose, and go for unrestrained joy. (Apologies to R. Clayman if I am misremembering this.)

With Purim starting tonight, I’ve been thinking about this interpretation through a Mussar lens. The night of partying, silliness and even raunchiness balances everyday life when we are serious. Does that mean that if we spend our life drunk, should we spend this day sober? What is to be learned from having an experience far outside of your normal behavior?

I won’t be attending the Purim Shpiel tonight. The Shpiel is a funny re-enactment of the Purim story. It would be a great time, but I’ve just had too much going on. I’m wiped out from both work and personal stresses. Yes, the one who writes about work life balance isn’t going to the party because he has been working too much. I will, however, take the night off, and make it an evening of fun.

Whether it is tonight or in the near future, I wish you a window of unadulterated joy. Life will have its ups and downs. Sometimes the downs are trivial, sometimes they are severe. Whatever our life circumstance, we all deserve times of joy. Tell me about yours. I’d love to hear it.

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Filed Under: Enthusiasm, Featured Tagged With: Mussar, purim, purim schpiel

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