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Practice Trust To Overcome Election Stress Disorder

October 17, 2016 By Greg Marcus 2 Comments

The Spectrum of Trust from “The Spiritual Practice of Good Actions” (Llewellyn)

I am upset about the election. I admit it – it has thrown me off. Political junkie combined with really caring about the outcome is a formula for losing sleep and feeling like I am in a nightmare. My mother chastened me over the weekend for letting it get to me. Don’t get me wrong – she cares too. Yet we still have to live our lives. My grandparents had daily struggles living through the depression, World War II, rationing… the list goes on. They grew strong, and learned to get through. Mussar has taught me that we need to keep striving to be a mensch even in difficult time. I’ve decided that I need to practice Trust to overcome Election Stress Disorder.

If I let a certain candidate just take over my mind, if I let the stress spill over into other parts of my life, then he wins; he, who wants to sow anger, panic, discord. After his rant about Mexican rapists, I vowed not to give him any more airtime. That is a vow I could not keep. But, I need to move back in that direction. So he will not be named here, because I am taking away his power to make me angry and upset and fearful about the future.

I feel so fortunate that my Mussar practice has taken me to the soul trait of Trust. The mantra for Trust is:

Trust in God, but tie your camel

If you are unsure of the Divinity, think of this as a reminder that most things work out. And, a reminder that whatever happens, you will be able to handle it. And, a reminder that you only have a limited sphere of control.

For me, I’ve donated money, and speak out regularly, – my camel is tied. I need to let go of the outcome. I also have a life to live – a family to take care of, a business to run, a community to be a part of. When I get too worked up over the election, other parts of my spiritual ecosystem start to suffer. And in Mussar, the spiritual ecosystem is the real world.

I am truly tired of being slapped around by the highs and lows this last month. One of my teachers, Alan Morinis teaches a Trust visualization based on the following passage from the book of Jeremiah ( 17:7-8).

7 Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord; the Lord will be his security.

8 He will be like a tree planted near water; it spreads out its roots by the river; it does not notice when heat comes; and its foliage is luxuriant; it is not anxious in a year of drought but keeps on yielding fruit.

I realize that many of you are unsure of the Divinity, and are unused to reading passages like this. Just give it a try. Imagine that you are the tree, drawing strength from the river. Your leaves are strong and vibrant, and you draw strength to maintain health and resilience through summer and winter.

That reservoir of spiritual energy is out there. God, the universe, family, community, nature… It is there. And when you connect with it, nothing can bring you down.

I now feel calm and centered. And you are heartily invited to join me.

Want to start your own Mussar journey? Click here to take the Soul Trait Profile Quiz now

How To Make Yourself a Mensch

September 19, 2016 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

When he was interviewing Tiffany Shlain about her film, “The Making of a Mensch,” radio host, author, and San Francisco State University professor Michael Krasny asked the audience to raise their hands if they thought they were a mensch. Just a few hands went up. A few more reluctantly went up when he asked who had “mensch-like characteristics.”

This reluctance to claim the mantle of a mensch goes back more than a thousand years. The Jewish sage Rava characterized people as wicked, righteous, or average, and said that he and his contemporaries were “among the average.” If a famous sage claims to be average, we should pay attention.

I don’t know how many mensches are out there, or whether you or I deserve that title. However, I do know that we all have what it takes to be a mensch. And, I know that I am more often a mensch since I started practicing Mussar.

There is a process and practice that we can follow, and if we do, we begin to walk the Path of the Mensch. This is the sentiment behind the annual Character Day, the brainchild of Emmy-nominated filmmaker Tiffany Shlain and her non-profit organization Let It Ripple. On Character Day, hundreds of thousands of people around the world will attend events with a common message: You can do better, and here is how.

Character Day has grown from 1,500 events the first year to 5,500 in the second. In this, the third year, over 81,000 events are expected on September 22, 2016. If you are local, I’d love to see you at the event I am hosting.

Character Day events feature up to three short films by Tiffany Shlain. Two, The Adaptable Mind and The Science of Character, champion a growth mindset. No matter where we are, we can change our very brains to become better people. And her third movie, The Making of a Mensch ties character growth to Mussar.

Mussar as an Opportunity to be Your Best Self

Mussar is a 1,000-year-old Jewish spiritual practice that teaches us how to find those things that cause us to get stuck in the same situation again and again, and offers a step-by-step path towards balance and healing through mindful action in everyday life. Yes, there is a solid argument that the Jews invented self-help.

I love the way that Alan Morinis, one of my teachers, emphasizes Mussar as a means to recognize and build on the goodness all around us. Not every Mussar author takes that approach. I’ve been known to skip parts of some of the Mussar classics that get too negative. For example, some books go on and on about how lowly and insignificant humans are when compared to God. I prefer sources that make the point another way – we all have a spark of the Divine, and have an opportunity to live up to our Divine potential in every moment of the day.

Many people are unsure of the Divinity. That is okay; in fact that’s common. If this is you, think of your Divine Spark as your common spark of humanity, the best of who you are that can never be taken away, no matter what you do.

I don’t think that it is an accident that Character Day exploded when it tied into Mussar. On a practical level, many Jewish institutions and luminaries were eager to become a part of the event. When Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks participates in Character Day, people pay attention. But it goes beyond that.

Mussar is practical, and draws on 1000 years of Rabbinic wisdom on how to live a good life. They offer practice advice, explaining the role of anger and jealousy in a good life, and the circumstances when too much patience is harmful to the self and others.

Mussar is also magical – it transforms people. I can’t tell you how many people have noticed changes in their lives within a few days of starting to practice Mussar. In a way Mussar is like The Matrix – no one can be told what it is, you need to experience it for yourself.

Want to join me on a Mussar journey? Start by taking a Soul Trait Profile Quiz now.

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The Spiritual Practice of Star Trek

September 9, 2016 By Greg Marcus 2 Comments

I can’t believe that I didn’t notice that my book is being published on the 50th anniversary of Star Trek. I have been a Star Trek Fan my whole life. I am an MIT science guy, turned marketer, turned spiritual seeker. I am excited that The Spiritual Practice of Good Actions is for sale on Amazon. But I am GAGA through the roof that the publication date is on Star Trek Day. It is a spiritual convergence. It must be. It’s the Spiritual Practice of Star Trek.

I even wrote about Star Trek in the book to illustrate The Evil Inclination. Here is an excerpt.

In the episode called “The Enemy Within” a transporter accident splits Captain Kirk into the good Kirk and the evil Kirk. The evil Kirk gets into fights, swigs brandy from the bottle, and even tries to assault the beautiful Yeoman Janis Rand. The good Kirk is kind and empathic, but he can no longer make decisions and thus has lost his ability to command. Spock says to McCoy, “And what is it that makes one man an exceptional leader? We see here indications that it’s his negative side which makes him strong, that his evil side, if you will, properly controlled and disciplined, is vital to his strength.

There is a story in the Talmud that follows a similar theme. The Rabbis trapped the Evil Inclination, and initially rejoiced. Soon, however, they noticed that no one did any work and the chickens stopped laying eggs. Just as the Rabbis needed to let the Evil Inclination free into the world once again, the two halves of Captain Kirk needed to be reunited.

The Evil Inclination is a fundamental part of who we are. Our challenge is to guide our Evil Inclination towards positive contributions. For example, ambition is good when it helps you achieve things in the world. Unbridled ambition, however, can lead to unethical and anti-social behavior. – “The Spiritual Practice of Good Actions” Llewellyn p. 35

That is what I love about Mussar – it shows up everywhere. We all have what it takes to be a Mensch, a person of outstanding character. But we have this thing called the Evil Inclination that holds us back. We are faced with choices, and when we practice Mussar, we learn to channel the Evil Inclination to make us outstanding people.

If you have not already done so, please go buy a copy of The Spiritual Practice of Good Actions. People love it, and you will too. If you are a regular visitor to American Mussar, you probably have have some idea of what it is about. You’ve seen snippets – maybe the Soul Trait Profile Quiz, maybe an excerpt, and maybe the American Mussar Sampler. In the book, I bring it all together, using my own story and many stories from friends and students to illustrate how Mussar can change your life.

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What Holds You Back from Repairing the World?

September 6, 2016 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

It would seem like not wasting resources, and preserving the world would be common sense, no brainer, consensus principles. And maybe they are in theory. But in reality, the planet is kind of a mess, and getting worse all the time. While it is tempting to throw up our hands at the scope of the problem, or to blame corporations, Mussar teaches us that we should approach life looking for small actions we can take in everyday life to bring ourselves into balance. After all, there is something inside that holds us back from doing the right thing. So the question is, what holds you back from repairing the world?

The teachings around the Commandment Bal Taschit translated as “do not destroy” are an instructive place to go as we look for soul traits to help us become more environmentally balanced within. Bal Tashchit comes from a principle that in the time of war we are not allowed to cut down fruit trees. You may eat of them, but not cut them down to make siege engines or the like. (Deuteronomy 20:19).

The Book of Education, (Sefer HaChinuch) written in the 13^th Century relates this environmental stewardship to the state of the soul. It reads, “Righteous people … do not waste in this world even a mustard seed. They become sorrowful with every wasteful and destructive act that they see, and if they can, they use all their strength to save everything possible from destruction. But the wicked … rejoice in the destruction of the world, just as they destroy themselves.” (Sefer HaChinuch 529; )

If only it were that simple. We could blame the wicked for everything, secure in our knowledge that we are “outraged and sorrowful” with global warming, and the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. But if you are like me, edible food ends up in the compost bin, and a large pile of trash is hauled away from my home every week.

George RR Martin, author of the Game of Thrones books, and Tolkien, author of the Lord of the Rings have different conceptions of evil. For Tolkien, Evil is external, in the form of Sauron, a supernatural being bent on the destruction of all that is good. For Martin, the evil is inside – each of his characters have the capacity for both good and evil. And some of the most interesting characters, like Tyrian Lannister have exhibited both in plenty.

Mussar sides with Martin – we are driven by the conflict between the Good and Evil Inclinations. Rabbi Ira Stone teaches that Mussar offers an opportunity to strengthen the Good Inclination by balancing our Soul Traits, which in turn makes it easier to keep commandments like Bal Tashchit. Here are three Soul Traits we can cultivate to strengthen our ability to protect our planet.

Honor, which reminds us to Honor the Divine spark in others. – People need to eat, and to destroy fruit trees makes it likely that someone will go hungry. In fact, sages of the Talmud generalized this commandment to teach that we should not wantonly spoil opportunities or resources of other people. Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook taught that the fruit trees are an allegory of human dignity, and we are forbidden from degrading human dignity. Thus, if we focus on the needs of others, bringing our Honor towards balance, we will be less likely to waste resources.
Gratitude reminds us to recognize the good and give thanks. The Book of Education teaches that the purpose of the Commandment “do not waste” is to teach us to “love that which is good and worthwhile and to cling to it, so that good becomes a part of us.” Thus by practicing Bal Tashchit we become more grateful, and conversely, if we practice gratitude, recognizing the good and appreciating what we have, we will be less likely to run out and buy the latest version of the iPhone, even though the phone we have is more than sufficient for what we need.
Awe – to quote Eliza in the musical Hamilton, “Look around, Look around, at how lucky we are to be alive right now.” The Baal Shem Tov said, “The world is full of wonders and miracles, but we take our little hand and we cover our eyes and see nothing.” The world is an amazing place, and if we take some time to appreciate the beauty in the world, we will, as a matter of course, be more mindful of how we use our resources.

Thus by cultivating Honor, Gratitude and Awe, we strengthen our Good Inclination, and can more easily keep the Commandment “Do Not Waste.” What is one small action you can take in your life to cultivate balance in one of these traits?

If you would like to start your own Mussar Journey, take the Soul Trait Profile Quiz right now.

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Mussar Practice Essential: Understanding Mussar Choice Points

August 31, 2016 By Greg Marcus 8 Comments

The Choice Point is a fundamental element of Mussar practice. It is the moment when we are balanced between doing the right or the wrong thing. When we are awake, we see the choices in front of us, and are better positioned to exercise our free will. This excerpt, from my book “The Spiritual Practice of Good Actions,” explains the importance of Understanding Mussar Choice Points.

Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler one of the foremost Mussar masters of the early 20^th century, describes the struggle between the Good and Evil Inclinations as a battlefront. Behind the front lines, our actions are firmly entrenched such that we act without thinking to follow either the Good or Evil Inclination. When we are at the boundary, however, we are faced with a choice, and feel the pull towards both positive and negative behaviors. Rabbi Dessler called this a choice point.[1] For example, stopping at a red light under ordinary circumstances is in the category of an automatic behavior in the area of the Good Inclination. However, if we are running late, we may be tempted to race through the intersection while the light is changing. Choice points are critical, since that is where we have an opportunity to exercise free will, and decide which way to go. We might make a decision to do right by our Soul, or to follow the Evil Inclination. It is only a choice point if the decision could go either way.

This picture of the confluence of the Rhone and Arve rivers illustrates the metaphor of the battle between the Good and Evil Inclinations. Imagine that you on a boat traveling towards the confluence of the clear and muddy rivers. In some parts of our life, we generally do the right thing and thus are sailing through the clear waters on the left side. In other areas, however, our weakness hold sway, and we are in the habit of following our base instincts in the cloudy water. In the middle, there is a grey area, where our spiritual challenges lie. The boundary is jagged, uneven, and in constant flux. There are places where the good juts out a bit or the Evil Inclination is starting to permeate under the Good Inclination. Each action we take influences our Soul, making it more likely that we will make a similar decision in the future. Thus when we follow the Good Inclination, the boundary is pushed to the right. When we follow the Evil Inclination, the boundary is pushed to the left. Dessler supports this conclusion by citing Ethics of the Fathers, which says “One sin leads to another,” and the Talmud, which teaches, “as soon as one has committed a sin twice, it is no longer a sin for him.”[3] In America, we call this phenomenon the slippery slope.

Rabbi Dessler teaches us that our choice points are a product of our education, environment, and state of spiritual development.[4] Two people with different spiritual curriculums will face very different choice points day to day. For example, lets compare the choice points between two men, one righteous, and the other a thief. For the thief, the choice point is whether to take the television but leave behind the Blu-Ray player. For him, that would represent a great step forward since he did not commit as big a crime as he usually did. The challenge for the righteous person is to give to charity with a feeling of Loving-Kindness instead of out of obligation.[5]

We all have issues. Mussar concerns the point of choice, that moment of conflict when we have to choose between being patient, or yelling at the kids to hurry up and get out the door. Choice? When I start yelling it doesn’t feel like a choice, it just comes out. While this is true, amazingly enough, two weeks after I began to focus on the Soul Trait Patience I experienced a dramatic change in my typical behavior. My kids were slow getting out the door in the morning, and I opened my mouth to yell at them. In that moment, I recognized them as little divine Souls, just playing around and not giving a fig about getting to the car. I closed my mouth and smiled.

In that moment, I chose to sail in clear waters.

“Excerpt from “The Spiritual Practice of Good Actions” by Greg Marcus, PhD © 2016 by Greg Marcus, PhD. Used by permission from Llewellyn Worldwide, Ltd., www.Llewellyn.com.” Order now on Amazon

Image credit: La Jonction used with permission from S. Brandt.

[1] Rabbi E. E. Dessler, Strive for Truth, reprinted on Torah.org, accessed August 7, 2015, http://www.torah.org/features/spirfocus/FreeChoice-point2.html.

[2] Go to http://americanmussar.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Figure-4.1-Mussar.jpg to look at this picture in more detail.

[3]Avot 4:2 and Talmud, Yoma 86b.

[4] Rabbi Eliyahu E. Dessler, Strive for Truth!, trans. Aryeh Carmell (Jerusalem: Feldheim, 1978), 54-55.

[5] Derived from an example from Rabbi E.E. Dessler shared by Morinis in Everyday Holiness, 23.

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