Mussar Basics

Assume You Have a Divine Spark, an American Mussar Practice

May 16, 2017 By Greg Marcus 2 Comments

Recently I got the following question by email:

I’ve seen you write on several occasions that we all have a Divine Spark. I don’t believe it. I need external validation. My Divine Spark is flickering. It is very faint. What advice can you give me?
– Dark Inside

Dear Dark Inside,

Thank you for having the courage to admit that is how you feel. You are not alone. I also need external validation. As I shared in my book – despite my Ph.D. from MIT, and string of career successes, I felt worthless. To this day, I still fight those feelings, but thanks to Mussar they are not nearly as strong as they used to be.

My advice? Stop trying to believe that you have a Divine Spark. Rather, assume you have a Divine Spark. When we assume something to be true, we act as if it is, and don’t waste mental energy wondering and debating. Then, when a voice of doubt starts to talk in your head, you can answer with confidence based on this assumption. (See this excerpt which explains the Four Assumptions of American Mussar)

Moreover, the full assumption that I teach in The Spiritual Practice of Good Actions is that we all have a Divine Spark that is occluded by our baggage. When we practice Mussar, it helps us move the bags and let the light shine through. Or as Leonard Cohen wrote, the cracks let the light in.

I love the image of a flickering Divine Spark that you share. It is wonderful, because the flickering is caused by the baggage, not any defect in your spark. Again, you don’t need to believe it, just assume it is true, and use that as a basis for your Mussar practice.

Ask yourself, what if it were true that you have a Divine Spark? How would that change your self image, even for a moment? Rabbi Akiva taught that we were given two gifts, a Divine Spark and the knowledge that we have a Divine Spark. (Pirkei Avot 3:14). Knowing that you have a Divine Spark gives you the knowledge and comfort that you already have everything you need.

Remember that Mussar practice is a practice. By practice, I mean something that we do every day. We practice a musical instrument so that when the concert arrives, we play better. We practice Mussar to exercise our spiritual muscles in small situations. Then, when the challenge arrives, we find ourselves acting in a different way.

I encourage you to commit to your Mussar practice. Simply reading this post will not get you anywhere. In fact, your Evil Inclination may take this opportunity to make you feel better. Simply being reassured will set you back unless you allow that feeling to empower you to take action.

Each time you take action, you make a small change in your soul. Slowly, slowly over time the small changes will add up. The good news is that the more out of balance you feel, the more opportunity you have to make progress quickly.

So pick a soul trait, any soul trait, and commit to it for two weeks. Do the mantra, observe mindfully through the day, pick one small area for change, and journal at night. (I know, we all hate the journaling part.) Just write a few words on your napkin after dinner.

The next time you think your Divine Spark is faint, don’t sweat it. It just appears to be faint, the the corona around the sun during a lunar eclipse. Just assume the sun is burning brightly, and moving the moon even a bit will restore light to the world.

Sincerely,

Greg, practitioner, facilitator, and innovator of American Mussar

Not sure which soul trait to start with? Take the Soul Trait Profile Quiz for inspiration.

Want to learn more? Check out the list of Mussar books.

Mussar Basics: Pirkei Avot Asks Who Is Wise

April 27, 2017 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

When it comes to Mussar basics, Pirkei Avot is high on the list. It is hard for me to describe the delight I felt while attending a wonderful webinar by Yaakov Feldman discussing my favorite lesson from Pirkei Avot. If you are not familiar with Pirkei Avot, you are in for a treat.

First, let me start by sharing the text of Pirkei Avot 4:1 (from Sefaria.org)

ben Zoma says: Who is the wise one? He who learns from all men, as it says, “I have acquired understanding from all my teachers” (Psalms 119:99).
Who is the mighty one? He who conquers his impulse, as it says, “slowness to anger is better than a mighty person and the ruler of his spirit than the conqueror of a city.” (Proverbs 16:32).
Who is the rich one? He who is happy with his lot, as it says, “When you eat [from] the work of your hands, you will be happy, and it will be well with you” (Psalms 128:2). “You will be happy” in this world, and “it will be well with you” in the world to come.
Who is honored? He who honors the created beings, as it says, “For those who honor Me, I will honor; and those who despise Me will be held in little esteem” (I Samuel 2:30).

ben Zoma is a hero of mine – he was not a Rabbi, and I find it inspiring that he teaches that we can learn from anyone. The soul trait of Honor reminds us that part of our mission in the world is to respect the Divine in everyone. Feldman explains this basic interpretation, and then turns it on it’s head. He reminds us that most people don’t know much, and that many people are fools. What are we to learn from them? Feldman says that we can learn from a fools mistakes. I was a bit uncomfortable with this lesson. Who am I to call another a fool? And moreover, are they a fool about everything? Then I remembered that, I wrote a blog post calling Bernie Sander’s supporters fools for blindly believing fake news about Hilary Clinton. It is an important lesson for all of us.

Feldman also contrasts the idea of learning from everyone with the idea of having one master to learn from. There are strands of Judaism that tend to follow a Rebbe, a singular leader, and branches of Mussar that limit the universe of texts from which we draw inspiration. I carry more of the ben Zoma sensibility – there are lessons to be learned from everyone. Yes, of course there are Rabbis and masters to learn from, but there are also more secular experts like Brene Brown, as well as menchy people in our own lives who may never have read a word of Torah. And, we can learn from our kids, parents, the check out person in the grocery store, and the homeless.

You are heartily invited to give the webinar a view. Rabbi Feldman goes on to discuss each of the parts of the teaching. Strength is measured by overcoming the worst part of ourself. I live the way Feldman kept saying “little by little” – that is how we do Mussar. The “little by little” approach works, and can show immediate results. Riches are measured by the Soul Trait of Gratitude, being content with what you have. (more below)

Feldman ends the webinar with an invitation to develop a personal relationship to God, to ask God questions and to make God a presence in your life. I know that many of you are not sure of the Divinity, and I admit that I found his suggestion somewhat jarring. But then again, he brings up an interesting point: When you learn to ask God for help, you learn to ask others for help too.

The whole webinar is part of a backstory to our Mussar practice. Ending with Humility – an invitation to ask for help – WOW.

Where do you need help in your life? Where do you want help? Are they the same? Take a few moments to write down an answer.

Interested in reading Pirkei Avot or other Mussar books? See the recommended translation on the Mussar Books page.

Hat tip to The Mussar Institute for producing the great webinar series about Pirkei Avot.

What is Mussar?

December 16, 2016 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

What is Mussar?

Believe it or not, there is a solid argument that the Jews invented self-help over 1000 years ago. At the time, the Rabbinic scholars were trying to understand why it is so hard to be good. The Ten Commandments and other Jewish teachings clearly spell out how we should act. Yet many of us, both now and then, violate either the letter or the spirit of these commandments quite regularly. One of the answers to this question was Mussar.

Mussar is a practice that gives concrete instructions and guidelines to help you live a meaningful and ethical life. The first Mussar book was Duties of the Heart by Rabbi Bahya ibn Paquda, which was written in eleventh century Spain. Rabbi ibn Paquda clarified a central tenet of Mussar: Following the spirit of the commandments is just as important as following the letter of the Law. For example, he scorns a scholar who focuses on pointless intellectual exercises instead of working to become a better person,[1] and he praises a scholar who worked for 25 years refining his conduct.[2]

In the ensuing centuries, the Mussar literature grew as scholars contemplated how various character traits like humility, patience, anger and jealousy contribute to a good life. Mussar became a widespread movement in Eastern Europe starting in the early 19^th century under the leadership of Rabbi Yisroel Salenter. Rabbi Salenter transformed Mussar from a solitary practice to something practiced in community. Throughout it’s history, Mussar masters used real world examples, and describing situations that are often as relevant today as they were hundreds and thousands of years ago. In short, the struggles of our soul have not changed.

The fact of the matter is that we all have issues, whatever our religion or level of spirituality. Mussar teaches how to find those things inside that cause us to get in the same situation over and over again. And, it provides guidance for how we can begin to make small changes in our lives to help bring healing to the Soul through greater balance. Rabbi Elya Lopian (1876-1970) defined Mussar as “making the heart feel what the mind understands.”[3] I love this definition, because so often we know what we should be doing, but we just can’t seem to make ourselves do it.

Mussar can be translated from Hebrew to mean, “correction” or “instruction.”[4] In modern Hebrew, Mussar means ethics. When we practice Mussar, we are adjusting and correcting our Soul. But we don’t try to adjust the whole thing at once. Rather, we focus on specific parts of the Soul called Soul Traits.

Real World Spirituality

Compared to Mussar, Kabbalah is the more widely known branch of Jewish spirituality. Kabbalah is spiritual/mystical and focuses on the unseen forces in the universe. Mussar is spiritual/practical, and focuses more on our inner world, and how it impacts the choices we make day today. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know a lot about either traditional or modern Kabbalah. I do know that there is significant overlap in the traditional Mussar and Kabbalistic literature. If you are currently a seeker who has explored Kabbalah, Mussar will complement and enrich your understanding. If you find Kabbalah a bit too “out there,” you will be able to relate to the Mussar because it is a very grounded practice.

The great 20^th Century Mussar master Rabbi Schlomo Wolbe defined spirituality as building your interior world,[5] and Mussar is the process we use to build it. In Judaism, we don’t wake up, decide to be spiritual, and then book a retreat to a mountain top for contemplation. Jewish spirituality is doing the inner work, to change our very Souls to become better at living in the real world. We are not expected to become great over night, and we only strive to become a little better than we were the day before.

One of my teachers Alan Morinis writes that we each have our own unique spiritual curriculum, meaning that we each have our own path in life, with a unique set of challenges and opportunities. We are presented with the same test over and over again until we pass it.[6] For example, my trait of Humility is out of balance – I have a tendency to be arrogant. My arrogance hurt my relationships with others, especially my coworkers, for years. Each chance I had to say something arrogant was a test, and until I learned to make room for other people’s opinions and feelings, I was caught in this cycle of starting well on a job, and then gradually losing support from my colleagues. When I started bringing my Humility into balance, I started keeping my mouth shut, (“passing the test,”) and became easier to work with. As a result, I was spared a lot of unnecessary stress and conflict.

As this example also illustrates, Mussar teaches that actions count – in fact only actions count. We all have good intentions, but more often than not our intentions don’t translate into good actions. Mussar brings our actions and intentions into alignment with Jewish values. What are Jewish Values? Rabbi Hillel summarized it best: “That which is hateful to you, don’t do to another. The rest [of the Torah] is just detail.”[7] Mussar offers key insights to help us understand why we sometimes do the right thing, and sometimes not. Hillel was articulating the Jewish version of the Golden Rule, more commonly knows as, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Whether or not you are Jewish, it is hard to argue with the Golden Rule as a universal ethical principle. Mussar turns real world situations into opportunities for spiritual growth, which in turn make the world a better place.

Want to learn more about Mussar? Check out this article Greg Marcus wrote for MyJewishLearning.com called What Is Mussar?

[1] Rabbi Bachya ibn Pacuda, Duties of the Heart, Hebrew trans. Rabbi Yehuda ibn Tibbon Feldheim, English trans. Daniel Haberman (Jerusalem: Feldheim, 1996) 1:23.

[2] Ibid 1:25.

[3] Morinis, With Heart in Mind, 6.

[4] Alan Morinis, Everyday Holiness: The Jewish Spiritual Path of Mussar (Boston: Trumpeter, 2007), 8.

[5] Alan Morinis, With Heart in Mind: Mussar Teachings to Transform Your Life (Boston: Trumpeter, 2014), 13.

[6] Morinis, Everyday Holiness, 3.

[7] Talmud Shabbat 31a.

Help Pick the Final Mantra Card Design

November 22, 2016 By Greg Marcus 21 Comments

mantra-cards-watermark-copy

Mussar practice starts every morning with a mantra – a recititation of a phrase to help frame the day. By repeating, or singing, the phrase over and over again, we are making an impression on our soul, and heightening our awareness of how that soul trait comes into play.

I am excited to announce that we are in the final stages of designing mantra cards to go with The Spiritual Practice of Good Actions.

Rather than write the mantra on a sticky note, or on an index card,

mantra-cards-no-watermark

why not just get a high quality set of cards? Just grab the card for the soul trait you are working on, and put it on your bed table.

We need your help to pick the final design. In the comments below, please let us know which design 1-4 you like.

Or alternatively, you can join the conversation on the American Mussar Facebook page.

How To Make Yourself a Mensch

September 19, 2016 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

When he was interviewing Tiffany Shlain about her film, “The Making of a Mensch,” radio host, author, and San Francisco State University professor Michael Krasny asked the audience to raise their hands if they thought they were a mensch. Just a few hands went up. A few more reluctantly went up when he asked who had “mensch-like characteristics.”

This reluctance to claim the mantle of a mensch goes back more than a thousand years. The Jewish sage Rava characterized people as wicked, righteous, or average, and said that he and his contemporaries were “among the average.” If a famous sage claims to be average, we should pay attention.

I don’t know how many mensches are out there, or whether you or I deserve that title. However, I do know that we all have what it takes to be a mensch. And, I know that I am more often a mensch since I started practicing Mussar.

There is a process and practice that we can follow, and if we do, we begin to walk the Path of the Mensch. This is the sentiment behind the annual Character Day, the brainchild of Emmy-nominated filmmaker Tiffany Shlain and her non-profit organization Let It Ripple. On Character Day, hundreds of thousands of people around the world will attend events with a common message: You can do better, and here is how.

Character Day has grown from 1,500 events the first year to 5,500 in the second. In this, the third year, over 81,000 events are expected on September 22, 2016. If you are local, I’d love to see you at the event I am hosting.

Character Day events feature up to three short films by Tiffany Shlain. Two, The Adaptable Mind and The Science of Character, champion a growth mindset. No matter where we are, we can change our very brains to become better people. And her third movie, The Making of a Mensch ties character growth to Mussar.

Mussar as an Opportunity to be Your Best Self

Mussar is a 1,000-year-old Jewish spiritual practice that teaches us how to find those things that cause us to get stuck in the same situation again and again, and offers a step-by-step path towards balance and healing through mindful action in everyday life. Yes, there is a solid argument that the Jews invented self-help.

I love the way that Alan Morinis, one of my teachers, emphasizes Mussar as a means to recognize and build on the goodness all around us. Not every Mussar author takes that approach. I’ve been known to skip parts of some of the Mussar classics that get too negative. For example, some books go on and on about how lowly and insignificant humans are when compared to God. I prefer sources that make the point another way – we all have a spark of the Divine, and have an opportunity to live up to our Divine potential in every moment of the day.

Many people are unsure of the Divinity. That is okay; in fact that’s common. If this is you, think of your Divine Spark as your common spark of humanity, the best of who you are that can never be taken away, no matter what you do.

I don’t think that it is an accident that Character Day exploded when it tied into Mussar. On a practical level, many Jewish institutions and luminaries were eager to become a part of the event. When Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks participates in Character Day, people pay attention. But it goes beyond that.

Mussar is practical, and draws on 1000 years of Rabbinic wisdom on how to live a good life. They offer practice advice, explaining the role of anger and jealousy in a good life, and the circumstances when too much patience is harmful to the self and others.

Mussar is also magical – it transforms people. I can’t tell you how many people have noticed changes in their lives within a few days of starting to practice Mussar. In a way Mussar is like The Matrix – no one can be told what it is, you need to experience it for yourself.

Want to join me on a Mussar journey? Start by taking a Soul Trait Profile Quiz now.