Featured - American Mussar

Slabadka Mussar Practice: Three Key Principles According to Rabbi Avi Fertig

June 18, 2017 By Greg Marcus 1 Comment

Recently, I watched a delightful webinar by Rabbi Avi Fertig about the Slabodka Mussar Practice. Rabbi Fertig is the Associate Dean of the Mussar Institute, and this webinar was a members only event, so I cannot share a link to it here. Background: Rabbi Yisroel Salanter, the founder of the 19th Century Mussar Movement, had three key disciples, each of whom started their own school of Mussar. Slabodka was started by Rabbi Nosson Zvi Finkel, who was known as the Alter of Slabodka.

I absolutely loved learning about the teachings of this flavor of Mussar because they so closely align with the principles of American Mussar. Here are the three key principles of Slabodka Mussar practice.

Slabodka Mussar Practice Principle #1: Pleasure

Rabbi Nosson Zvi Finkel, the Alter of Slabodka wanted people to study Mussar because it was good, and pleasurable. As a proof text he sited Psalms 34:9. Taste and see that the Lord is good. How blessed are those who take shelter in Him. He wanted pleasure seekers as students in his Yeshivot, and to direct their pleasure towards the spiritual realm. He taught that are so used to physical pleasures, we do not appreciate them. This is a core teaching of the soul trait of Gratitude.

Slabodka Mussar Practice Principle #2: Individuality

The Alter of Slabodka taught that each student is different, and needs to be dealt with in his/her unique way. His proof text was from Talmud Pesachim 118a,”God punishes each person based on his means.” Slabodka schools demanded individuality of each student. One can’t imitate others, and we each need to go our own way. This was not a one size fits all approach to parenting and education, which was radial in its day. He wanted his students to think and rethink, as a way of building the individual world of each student. Thus, he demanded that students think for themselves and think deeply.

Slabodka Mussar Practice Principle #3: The Greatness of Human Beings

Finally, Rabbi Finkel stressed that each person is created in the likeness of God. This is a huge contrast to Rabbi Salanter’s approach of focusing on deficiencies. Finkel stressed that each of us has great potential. We are great and amazing right now. Because of that, we have enormous capacity to bring good into the world. Here in the webinar, Rabbi Fertig shared that he is the product of a Slabodka Yeshiva. As a student, he felt special and unique. He was taught that when you look at another human being, realize you are seeing God’s presence in the world.

The Alter of Slabodka hired a tailor to be at the yeshiva, so students would feel like the image of God. Seeing one’s own greatness is a catapult towards greatness. Dressing well is a reminder to perfect yourself because that is your true form.

I particularly love this last teaching. We all have a Divine Spark occluded by our baggage. Mussar helps us move the bags, and let the light shine through.

Three Tips To Practice Mussar Equanimity

June 13, 2017 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

Many people starting their Mussar journey jump to the chapter on Equanimity. I remember doing exactly that, and then being confused. In this post, I’ll explain why this soul trait is hard, and offer you some ways to practice Mussar Equanimity. As you may recall, Equanimity translates directly from Hebrew as “calmness of the soul.” Equanimity in balance means that, we have the ability to keep our head, to not get too high when things are going well, and not too low in a setback.

Right now, my own Equanimity is being challenged. You have been sending me lots of feedback on what to write about, and I have to battle not to get too excited – part of me wants to just keep working to learn everything I can, and turn that info around in blog posts and new offerings. That voice is my Evil Inclination, trying to get me off the workaholic bandwagon. I know that path, and the outcome for me isn’t good.

My Equanimity was challenged in the opposite direction, this past weekend. I was talking to a friend from my corporate days, who mentioned that he ran into someone who I used to work with. I was surprised at how overcome I was with negative feelings. Yes, I have reason to dislike this person, because they directly caused me “harm” and made some decisions that in my opinion set back the company in a big way. I “watched” in amazement as my Equanimity was thrown off. I became upset – my blood pressure went up, and I started bad mouthing the person. The latter is a real Mussar no no, and I knew it. Yet the words just tumbled out of my mouth.

WOW. This is exactly why Mussar is a practice. We need to keep working to gradually over time heal and bring these soul traits towards balance. I’ll frame the remainder of the story around three paths to help you practice Mussar Equanimity.

1. Practice Mussar Equanimity Directly

I think of Equanimity as being what Eckhart Tolle calls “the watcher,” which is our higher consciousness that exists independently of, and behind the thinking mind. When we are the watcher, we are mindfully present, and better able to access our free will. In the story above, I was being the watcher as my ego bad mouthed this person. Because I was mindfully present, I said less than I might have otherwise, and limited myself to a factual recitation of the things the person had done. I kept judging thoughts out of my mouth. For example, I did not use words like “evil” or “poisonous.”

It is very hard to directly build Equanimity. It required a practice like mediation to learn how to both observe and quiet thoughts as they come into the head. Tolle’s book The Power of Now is the best I have read on the direct approach to Equanimity.

2. Practice Mussar Equanimity Indirectly

There is a reason that I put the chapter on Equanimity late in my Mussar book. It is hard to just do, especially because our Equanimity is often thrown off by other underlying soul traits that are out of balance. I can look within, and see many other soul traits that contributed to my Equanimity imbalance. For example, my Honor was activated because today I was judging this person based on something they did 10 years ago; Humility because I think I know better than this person who was much more senior than I was; Silence because I could not keep quiet; and of course Forgiveness. I am a grudge holder. Rabbi Micha Berger has an interesting suggestion on how not to hold a grudge in this article. Part of the answer is to remember a teaching from Alan Morinis – often when things go wrong, they only seem wrong to us, which is a gift because we are being shown a part of our spiritual curriculum, and thus an opportunity for growth.

By committing to our Mussar practice, we begin to heal the various soul traits that disturb our Equanimity.

3. Take a Walk in Nature.

Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook once wrote the following: “The song of the birds as they perch in the trees… the sweet smells of lilies and the fruit of God’s garden…return one’s mind to it’s natural state.” (With Heart in Mind by Alan Morinis chapter 12). Kook’s advice to seek nature to restore tranquility is supported by modern science – numerous studies have shown that being in nature lowers blood pressure, and improves depression.

Sorry, there are no magic bullets. But that good news is that a Mussar practice can be conducted in about 5 minutes a day. They are five minutes that can and will transform your life.

Want to figure out which soul traits are disturbing your equanimity? Take the Soul Trait Profile Quiz.

Assume You Have a Divine Spark, an American Mussar Practice

May 16, 2017 By Greg Marcus 2 Comments

Recently I got the following question by email:

I’ve seen you write on several occasions that we all have a Divine Spark. I don’t believe it. I need external validation. My Divine Spark is flickering. It is very faint. What advice can you give me?

– Dark Inside

Dear Dark Inside,

Thank you for having the courage to admit that is how you feel. You are not alone. I also need external validation. As I shared in my book – despite my Ph.D. from MIT, and string of career successes, I felt worthless. To this day, I still fight those feelings, but thanks to Mussar they are not nearly as strong as they used to be.

My advice? Stop trying to believe that you have a Divine Spark. Rather, assume you have a Divine Spark. When we assume something to be true, we act as if it is, and don’t waste mental energy wondering and debating. Then, when a voice of doubt starts to talk in your head, you can answer with confidence based on this assumption. (See this excerpt which explains the Four Assumptions of American Mussar)

Moreover, the full assumption that I teach in The Spiritual Practice of Good Actions is that we all have a Divine Spark that is occluded by our baggage. When we practice Mussar, it helps us move the bags and let the light shine through. Or as Leonard Cohen wrote, the cracks let the light in.

I love the image of a flickering Divine Spark that you share. It is wonderful, because the flickering is caused by the baggage, not any defect in your spark. Again, you don’t need to believe it, just assume it is true, and use that as a basis for your Mussar practice.

Ask yourself, what if it were true that you have a Divine Spark? How would that change your self image, even for a moment? Rabbi Akiva taught that we were given two gifts, a Divine Spark and the knowledge that we have a Divine Spark. (Pirkei Avot 3:14). Knowing that you have a Divine Spark gives you the knowledge and comfort that you already have everything you need.

Remember that Mussar practice is a practice. By practice, I mean something that we do every day. We practice a musical instrument so that when the concert arrives, we play better. We practice Mussar to exercise our spiritual muscles in small situations. Then, when the challenge arrives, we find ourselves acting in a different way.

I encourage you to commit to your Mussar practice. Simply reading this post will not get you anywhere. In fact, your Evil Inclination may take this opportunity to make you feel better. Simply being reassured will set you back unless you allow that feeling to empower you to take action.

Each time you take action, you make a small change in your soul. Slowly, slowly over time the small changes will add up. The good news is that the more out of balance you feel, the more opportunity you have to make progress quickly.

So pick a soul trait, any soul trait, and commit to it for two weeks. Do the mantra, observe mindfully through the day, pick one small area for change, and journal at night. (I know, we all hate the journaling part.) Just write a few words on your napkin after dinner.

The next time you think your Divine Spark is faint, don’t sweat it. It just appears to be faint, the the corona around the sun during a lunar eclipse. Just assume the sun is burning brightly, and moving the moon even a bit will restore light to the world.

Sincerely,

Greg, practitioner, facilitator, and innovator of American Mussar

Not sure which soul trait to start with? Take the Soul Trait Profile Quiz for inspiration.

Want to learn more? Check out the list of Mussar books.

Mussar Book Review: Rebbe by Joseph Telushkin

May 7, 2017 By Greg Marcus 2 Comments

Rebbe by Joseph Telushkin is a wonderful read – it is like having a conversation with someone telling you about the most interesting Jew in the world. And Menachem Mendel Schneerson, the Lubavitcher Rebbe, was an innovator, a man of strong conviction, and a Mensch of the first order.

When I was growing up in Syracuse and into early adulthood, the Rebbe was hardly on my radar, beyond an impression that he claimed to be the Messiah. That alone was turn off enough to keep me away from the book. Let me clear that up right away. Telushkin makes it abundantly clear that the Rebbe did not consider himself the Messiah, nor did the majority of his followers. And even most of those who considered him the Messiah really only thought of him as a potential Messiah. There is a teaching that a Messiah is born in every generation. Such people of outstanding character walk among us, and after reading about the Rebbe’s life, I can understand why people revered him so deeply. You do not need to be Orthodox, or familiar with the chasidic world to appreciate this book. In fact, I thought it was really interesting to get a view into this world.

Here are a few of the things I particularly appreciated about the Rebbe’s life.

Love and Pride of Judaism.

The Rebbe was passionate that every Jewish life was sacred, and that no one should be left behind. He sent young couples to live all over the world to open Chabbad houses, to offer observant and non-observant Jews a place to go. I share this passion – there is so much more to Judaism than most people know. The Rebbe instructed his followers to offer an opportunity to do just one traditional observance, like putting on tefillin or lighting shabbat candles. While such ritual observances are not a priority for me, I am moved by the love behind the Rebbe’s plan.

Passionate Disagreement While Staying In Relationship

He was a man of extraordinary influence, who knew the secret of disagreeing with someone while at the same time finding common cause with them. Such is the soul trait of Honor. His secret – he never criticized someone by name.The Rebbe once said, “I don’t speak about people, I speak about opinions.” And the Rebbe was fearless about stating his opinion. Telushkin wrote, “Confidence in your idea means that you don’t have to make other people wrong for you to be right.” Rebbe Schneerson took many positions that I disagree with. For example, we was for prayer in schools, and against public protests against the Soviet Union. Inevitably, his positions were motivated by a sincere belief in what he thought was best for the Jewish people, and often, best for humanity in toto.

Values Are Primary

While Rebbe is not a Mussar book per se, and the Rebbe did not as far as I know follow the Mussar masters, he lived a life of kindness, focused on the needs of the other, that is the primary goal of Mussar practice. While the Rebbe was a stickler for traditional Jewish practice, he felt the commandments about slander were just as important as the dietary laws. In fact, he was critical of Orthodox Jews who shamed others for not being traditionally observant. There was a great anecdote about a time when he chastened a follower who was so wrapped up in studying Torah that he didn’t hear a child crying in the other room. Again and again throughout the book, Telushkin shared examples of the Rebbe’s thoughtfulness. He even went so far as to conceal the deal of his younger brother from his mother for 12 years for fear that news of his death would harm her health.

In summary, I highly recommend Rebbe by Joseph Telushkin. If you read it, you’ll be uplifted, and inspired to be your best self.

Looking for more Mussar books? Check out our Mussar Book Page.

Learn more about Rebbe by Joseph Telushkin on Amazon.

Mussar Basics: Pirkei Avot Asks Who Is Wise

April 27, 2017 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

When it comes to Mussar basics, Pirkei Avot is high on the list. It is hard for me to describe the delight I felt while attending a wonderful webinar by Yaakov Feldman discussing my favorite lesson from Pirkei Avot. If you are not familiar with Pirkei Avot, you are in for a treat.

First, let me start by sharing the text of Pirkei Avot 4:1 (from Sefaria.org)

ben Zoma says: Who is the wise one? He who learns from all men, as it says, “I have acquired understanding from all my teachers” (Psalms 119:99).

Who is the mighty one? He who conquers his impulse, as it says, “slowness to anger is better than a mighty person and the ruler of his spirit than the conqueror of a city.” (Proverbs 16:32).

Who is the rich one? He who is happy with his lot, as it says, “When you eat [from] the work of your hands, you will be happy, and it will be well with you” (Psalms 128:2). “You will be happy” in this world, and “it will be well with you” in the world to come.

Who is honored? He who honors the created beings, as it says, “For those who honor Me, I will honor; and those who despise Me will be held in little esteem” (I Samuel 2:30).

ben Zoma is a hero of mine – he was not a Rabbi, and I find it inspiring that he teaches that we can learn from anyone. The soul trait of Honor reminds us that part of our mission in the world is to respect the Divine in everyone. Feldman explains this basic interpretation, and then turns it on it’s head. He reminds us that most people don’t know much, and that many people are fools. What are we to learn from them? Feldman says that we can learn from a fools mistakes. I was a bit uncomfortable with this lesson. Who am I to call another a fool? And moreover, are they a fool about everything? Then I remembered that, I wrote a blog post calling Bernie Sander’s supporters fools for blindly believing fake news about Hilary Clinton. It is an important lesson for all of us.

Feldman also contrasts the idea of learning from everyone with the idea of having one master to learn from. There are strands of Judaism that tend to follow a Rebbe, a singular leader, and branches of Mussar that limit the universe of texts from which we draw inspiration. I carry more of the ben Zoma sensibility – there are lessons to be learned from everyone. Yes, of course there are Rabbis and masters to learn from, but there are also more secular experts like Brene Brown, as well as menchy people in our own lives who may never have read a word of Torah. And, we can learn from our kids, parents, the check out person in the grocery store, and the homeless.

You are heartily invited to give the webinar a view. Rabbi Feldman goes on to discuss each of the parts of the teaching. Strength is measured by overcoming the worst part of ourself. I live the way Feldman kept saying “little by little” – that is how we do Mussar. The “little by little” approach works, and can show immediate results. Riches are measured by the Soul Trait of Gratitude, being content with what you have. (more below)

Feldman ends the webinar with an invitation to develop a personal relationship to God, to ask God questions and to make God a presence in your life. I know that many of you are not sure of the Divinity, and I admit that I found his suggestion somewhat jarring. But then again, he brings up an interesting point: When you learn to ask God for help, you learn to ask others for help too.

The whole webinar is part of a backstory to our Mussar practice. Ending with Humility – an invitation to ask for help – WOW.

Where do you need help in your life? Where do you want help? Are they the same? Take a few moments to write down an answer.

Interested in reading Pirkei Avot or other Mussar books? See the recommended translation on the Mussar Books page.

Hat tip to The Mussar Institute for producing the great webinar series about Pirkei Avot.