Greg Marcus - American Mussar

Feeling Compassion For a Gun Enthusiast After Vegas Shooting: A Mussar Practice Moment

October 5, 2017 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

Feeling Compassion For a Gun Enthusiast After Vegas Shooting?

I am not a gun guy, but somehow I felt compassion for a gun enthusiast who was talking about the Las Vegas shooting. I went on Facebook Live to talk about it, and how my feelings relate to the soul traits of Compassion and Abstinence. The back story.

I listened to an interview on All Things Considered with a gun enthusiast who was clearly upset about the shooting. This is someone who owns a lot of guns. He freely admits that there is no reason for someone to have that many guns in a hotel room. And he was clearly upset about the shootings in Las Vegas, Newton CT and at the Pulse in Florida. In fact, he felt responsible, because he believes in responsible gun ownership, and it was painful to him that “one of their own” did such unspeakable evil. Mary Louise Kelly deserves an award for the quality of the interview, because she asked questions without judgement. (Listen here, starting around 5:30). The man explained that he once fired a fully automatic weapon at a gun range under supervision, and he liked it. It gave a rush, like driving a fast car. His argument was this: why should I be punished for the actions of one person?

I’ve heard that argument by lawmakers previously, and dismissed it out of hand. But here was a real person saying the words with feeling and pain. In that past I would have felt judgement, thinking “People are dying, and you don’t want to do anything because you think guns are fun?” But none of that as I listened, perhaps because I am practicing the Mussar Soul Trait of Compassion this week. Compassion teaches us to be close to another, so close that you feel what they feel. And I felt the anguish, and the seductive power of the rush.

I was reminded of the Soul Trait of Abstinence, as explained in The Path of the Just by Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto. (Watch starting around 4:00.) Abstinence is about giving something up on the path to self improvement. Gun owners can voluntarily give up something they like. Before we jump on them for not doing so, or for fighting to keep their ability for a fun hobby, lets look in the mirror. Are you ready to stop driving fast because another driver driving that fast might kill someone? Give a watch to see what I say about sexual abstinence too.

I still don’t agree with his position, but at least I understand it. He is not crazy, and is no more selfish than the rest of us. And I think I could talk to him in a respectful way. Being sympathetic to his point of view will go a long way towards getting him to take the high road, or at least understand that we have nothing against him if we want safety regulations on gun ownership.

compassion for a gun enthusiasts — This woman enjoys shooting. That does not make her a bad person.

Healing and reconciliation in this country will only take place when we learn to understand our fellow Americans.

Have a listen. Tell me what you feel. Can you feel compassion for gun a enthusiast? Do you get it now in a new way? Agree? Disagree?

Reply below and let me know.

Mussar Book Review: Mishkan Hanefesh

October 1, 2017 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

Mishkan Hanefesh is the Union of Reform Judaism’s official prayer book for the High Holidays. Or rather, I should say books, as there are separate volumes for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. I must admit it feels a bit strange to write a book review for a prayer book. And if this were merely a prayer book, my feelings would be justified. But these two volumes represent a compendium of Jewish thought that make them worth reading any time of the year.

Mishkan Hanefesh offers multiple ways to experience the holidays. There are the prayers, as well as several different types of explanations. They prayers and translations are on white pages, usually on the right page. The matching left page has a grey background, and contains poetry, or thematically matched Jewish text. You’ll find the wisdom of Jewish sages from the last thousand years, from Maimonides to Abraham Joshua Heschel to Rabbi Abraham Twerski.

Scattered throughout the book are blue pages, which offer commentary from both modern and classic rabbinic sources.For example, the blue page before the Torah reading on Yom Kippur morning has commentary from orthodox Rabbi David Hartman (1931-2013), who started the Hartman Institute, and Rabbi Josh Zweiback (b 1969) who is currently the senior Rabbi at Stephen Wise in LA. Wisdom from Rabbi Amy Eilberg, the first woman ordained by the Conservative movement is also captured within these books.

Mishkan Hanefesh is not only a throughly modern book, it is also a Mussar book. I love that it translates the Yetzer Ha’ra as “hostile impulse.” In The Spiritual Practice of Good Actions, I translate Yetzer Ha’ra as the evil inclination. Hostile impulse is so much better, because evil brings to mind truly diabolical characters like Isis or Voldemort. Hostile impulse better captures the idea that it is our survival instincts, like anger and sexuality, which map to our reptilian brain. The afternoon service on Yom Kippur is explicitly a Mussar service. It explains the importance of Tikkun Middot as follows :”repairing and strengthening the personal qualities and traits that enable us to fulfill our urge to be good.” As part of the Amidah prayer, there are sections on Lovingkindness, Strength, Holiness, Forgiveness, Love of Zion, Gratitude, and Peace in the Home. The blue pages for these soul traits are worth reading at any time of the year. In addition, there are reflection questions posed throughout the services to offer us an opportunity to look within, and truly personalize the experience.

Mishkan Hanefesh also has an amazing layout. The drama of the Sh’ma prayer or blowing of the shofar are captured by two page spreads with giant letters. There are pages of full page art that evoke awe and reflection throughout. And each section is easy to navigate, with a web-page like side navigation menu, that helps you follow the progression of the prayers and reflections.

Before I go, I must admit, I am biased – one of the editors of Mishkan Hanefesh is Rabbi Janet Marder, the senior Rabbi at my synagogue, Congregation Beth Am in Los Altos. She is brilliant, and has been a major influence on my Jewish growth. I can see her heart and wisdom throughout the book. If your synagogue is adopting Mishkan Hanefesh, it is well worth the investment to get your own set. And if it doesn’t, but you are looking for a compendium of Jewish wisdom on personal transformation, then Mishkan Hanefesh is a must have.

Looking for something else? Check out our page of Mussar books.

Let The High Holidays Disrupt Your Life For Good

September 27, 2017 By Greg Marcus 1 Comment

Last week at Rosh Hashanah services, I met someone who was freaking out about missing work. “I have so much to do. I can’t believe I am here.” I gave her some lame advice, and later kicked myself for not just being sympathetic, and supportive. I freak out about work in my own way. I just think about it all the time. But ever since I was a kid, I’ve internalized that no matter what, I don’t work on the High Holidays. It has become part of the routine for me to disrupt my life, to just stop and look within. The trick is to find a way to let the High Holidays disrupt your life for Good.

The High Holidays are designed to disrupt your life. I live in Silicon Valley. Disruption is the goal. If you aren’t familiar with the lingo, Uber disrupted the taxi industry, and Apple disrupted the music industry. Here the taxi industry was just sailing along, and suddenly they are clobbered by this online monster that lets regular people drive other people whenever they want in their own cars. The status quo doesn’t like it, but we don’t makes leaps forward without disrupting what is. Disruption is all about non-incremental change.

The High Holidays can be merely a disruption of our routine, an inconvenience that gets in the way of rushing around. Or the High Holidays can Disrupt your life. You can take advantage of this opportunity to look within, and try to find out what causes you to miss the mark. In Judaism, sin means to miss the mark. When we do wrong, if we frame it as missing the mark, we have an opportunity to get it right next time. Do we just sail along, and make the same mistakes year after year? Or, do we disrupt ourselves and move forward?

Rabbi Alan Lew talks about the path to disruption in chapter 7 of his book This is Real And You Are Completely Unprepared. He wrote, “Spiritual deadness is a habit. Something in us want to be dead- wants to escape our reality-and we’ve expressed this desire in a hundred little patterns and habits.” I so relate to this idea. As I’ve shared before, I spent many years as a zombie, nearly working myself to death.

As a solution, Lew points to the teaching of the medieval Mussar Kabbalist Rabbi Moshe Cordovero, who advocates that we change our eating or clothing for a week, to shake things up and bring change. Of course, we don’t need to invent a time to disrupt our eating habits. We have Yom Kippur. Spending a day without food or water will change your perspective. You’ll see something different.

The question is, what will you do the day after Yom Kippur? Is that a time to just go back to the same old habits, or will you take action to make a change? As someone who is on the American Mussar website, I know you have an interest in changing.

I know change is hard, especially with all that life throws at us. The beauty of Mussar is that we focus on the small and ordinary. We make small changes in everyday living. We practice Mussar all year for this moment – now let the High Holidays disrupt your life.

If you want to look within and find those things that cause you to miss the mark every year, take the Soul Trait Profile Quiz. Have you taken the Soul Trait Quiz? Why not take it again?

The Divine Hand In Hurricanes – A Mussar Lesson

September 8, 2017 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

Divine Order: Climate scientists predicted bigger storms. Now we have them.

I am convinced we are seeing the hand of the Divine hand in hurricanes like Harvey and Irma. Not the cartoonish, fire and brimstone retribution that some evangelicals are pronouncing. Rather, the Divine is being realized through natural laws that were put in place during creation. Science predicted stronger hurricanes if carbon levels continued to rise. Carbon levels are higher, and we are seeing stronger hurricanes. If you are unsure of the Divinity, I suspect that you believe in the laws of nature. As practitioners of Mussar, we are faced with the question of what soul traits are in play for us, and how we should act. Read on to learn the answers.

The False Choice Between Spirituality and Science.

I get asked all the time how a scientist like myself can get caught up in spirituality. People who ask that question either don’t understand science, don’t understand spirituality, or don’t understand either. In my experience 90% of people, even the so called experts in science and spirituality, fall into the third category. It is one thing to be a technician of science, or a technician of spiritual teachings. It is quite another to understand the why. Both science and spirituality delve into mystery, to understand how things work, and how seemingly different things are connected. The science fiction writer Arthur Clark once said “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” The same holds for quantum entanglement. Science doesn’t need to explain everything in order for us to believe in it, and spiritual faith is big enough to allow two things to be equally true that may on the surface seem contradictory. The Mussar Classic Strive For Truth gets its name from the quest to understand the Truth of the world, which is taught to us by Torah. And the Truth here is that we are seeing the hand of the Divine in climate change.

Physical Laws Were Created by the Divine

In the book Worldmask, Rabbi Akiva Tatz wrote : “The world is exquisitely ordered: the very fact that it can be studied mathematically and scientifically results from this order. If the world parallels its spiritual root, and we wish to understand that root, we must study the order inherent in the world.” We can see this spiritual root in the story of creation in the book of Genesis. First there was darkness over the waters. Then there was light. Then there was a separation between air and water. Next dry land, followed by animal and plant life. And then Man. The Torah teaches that God created each of these in turn, and in so doing created the laws of nature. If you are not sure of the Divinity, you can look at the story metaphorically and come to the same answer: Today we have laws of nature. They are inflexible.

In science, what we do is we look at data, and then create models to explain what we are seeing. The model makes predictions about what will happen. This is exactly what we are seeing with climate change. For example, In 1987, Kerry Emanuel published a paper called The dependence of hurricane intensity on climate in the journal Nature, which is the top science journal in the world. It predicted that more CO2 in the atmosphere will lead to more destructive hurricanes.

Prediction: More CO2 leads to more destructive storms.

Look at the graph to the right. CO2 levels have gone up since 1987.

Reality: We have more CO2 in the air, and Irma set records for wind speed.

The data is supporting the model of climate change.

When Will These Idiots Learn That Global Warming is Real?

A friend of mine asked that question on their Facebook wall today with a link to an article about the hurricanes. I answered in a harsh way. I said, “They will learn when we start treating them with the respect they are due as human beings, and stop shaming and judging them.” Sociologist Brene Brown teaches that if you shame people by calling them names, they will just get defensive and dig their heels in. Mussar teaches the same thing. If you insult someone, it activates the Evil Inclination, which we know lives in the amygdala. People who are angry or upset literally cannot thing logically. So your chance of convincing someone to change their mind when you upset them is literally zero. You might bully them into changing their behavior. But changing their heart, changing their mind? No way.

In the 2000s I was talking with a stranger on a plane about Al Gore’s movie “An Inconvenient Truth.” She didn’t believe in climate change. I told her I was a scientist and why I thought it was true. She then rather sheepishly admitted that she didn’t believe it was true because she didn’t like Al Gore’s politics. The was pre-mussar, but I had the sense to ask her to look past the messenger. She shook her head. Most people can’t look past the messenger. Going back to our point above, what kind of messenger are you?

Mussar has guidance for us.

Mussar’s Path To Healing

The solution to climate change is not in the air, it is in the heart. At long as we treat each other as animals, we are destined for destruction. Hurricanes Harvey and Irma are literally undoing the work of creation. Water, air, and land are no longer separate. Where there was human, animal, and plant life, we see death. Where we assisted in the act of creation, the Divine hand brings discussion.

To heal the planet, we first need to heal our relationship with the people who disagree with us. A first step is to moderate our speech, which is governed by the soul trait of Silence. As it says in the Bible, The words of the wise are heard [when spoken] softly (Ecclesiastes 9:17). See this post for ideas on how to promote healing on the internet. Don’t shame or insult people because they support politicians who claim to not believe in climate change. Talk to them about the data. Ask them what they feel. Be curious. Listen to their perspective. Ask questions. Maintain your Equanimity.

While we are waiting for everyone’s heart to open, each of us can work to reduce our personal carbon footprint. Ask yourself this: If you believe in climate change, what have you done to fight it? Mussar suggests that we start with leading by example. In our home, we have solar power, and lease an electric car.

If you’d like to take action, click here for 25 suggestions on how to reduce your carbon footprint.

Mussar Practice For Work Life Balance

August 11, 2017 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

It is no secret that I am a recovering workaholic. At my low point, I worked 90 hours a week, which was destroying my health, relationships, and my career. I brought balance to my life, but it took me a long time. Mussar helped me understand the root cause of my overwork. Here, I’ll share with you a mussar practice for work life balance.

Lets be clear: Work itself is not the issue. Pirkei Avot teaches us to “Love work” [1:10]. After all, the covenant gave us six days to work, and one day to rest (Avos D’Rebbi Nosson 11:1). The Talmud, too, teaches that labor is honorable, even in the house of study [Babylonian Talmud Nedarim 49b]. According to Rabbi Chaim David Halevy, “Work is sacred—it is building and creating a partnership with God in the work of creation” [Aseh L’cha Rav 2:6].

As practitioners of Mussar, we find the spiritual in everyday activities. Yes, our job is to assist God in the work of creation. (Or if you are unsure of the Divinity, think of it as helping the Universe.) Yet at the same time, our mission is to repair the world, to repair ourselves, and to elevate our spirit to a higher place. Excessive work—the true issue—is inherently unbalanced because it takes away from these other sacred obligations.

Think of your own life – when you are working too much, there isn’t enough time for sleep, friends, family, or fun. An excessive workload brings the soul trait of Moderation out of balance. To establish a Mussar practice for work life balance, we must first recognize the arguments we use to justify our excess.

Three Common Arguments That Rationalize Overwork

Fear: Some people blame their employer for “forcing them to work all the time.” For example, they are afraid that they will be fired if they do not promptly respond to email.
Love: Others work all the time out of a sense of mission and devotion. For example, many rabbis flirt with burnout because they love the congregation and service to God.
Happiness. People in this category say, “Yes, I work all the time, but it makes me happy. What’s wrong with that?”

Each of these rationalizations points to a soul trait out of balance. For example, feelings of happiness and love of the mission can mask the pursuit of Honor. The workplace is filled with opportunities to acquire Honor, from a pat on the head to a plaque for being employee of the month. I once saw someone recognized at a company meeting for canceling a family vacation to visit a customer. He glowed with pride, and was happy. I doubt his wife and kids were.

Attachment to work is emotional. Mussar teaches that a strong emotion cannot be changed simply by resolving to change. Similarly, an unbalanced life is not going to change by resolving to work fewer hours. Rather, we must passionately choose to walk on the middle path. Remember, we are presented with choice points (tests) every day. The key is to devise a strategy to pass the tests when they come up. See this post for more on choice points.

I have found that saying no to work was not helpful because my attachment to work was too strong. In addition, too many messages from my employer pushed me to work more. But, when I decided to prioritize my health and my family with passion, my work hours started to drop rapidly.

The key to work-life balance, like all Mussar practice, is to start where you are and take one small step towards balance. We need to cut back little by little, by saying Yes to things that are more important than work. For example, I chose to stop working at 9 pm in order to have time to wind down and sleep well. Then I stopped working at 8 to have more time with my wife, and then at 7 to have more time with my kids. Within a year, I had cut my hours by a third without changing jobs, and no one in the office even noticed! Yet my family life became a joy, and my health improved rapidly. And my career improved as well, in part because I was no longer a strung-out, exhausted wreck!

Three Soul Traits To Help You Establish a Mussar Practice For Work Life Balance

Enthusiasm. Excess work may indicate excess Enthusiasm for the wrong things. Rather than trying to work less, refocus Enthusiasm. Make health, family, and/or community a higher priority. Work is still important, but is it as important as your health? Of course not.
Trust. Attachment to work is emotional, and change can be laced with fear. Invest in trusting that God has your back, and that whatever happens, you will be ok. If you are unsure about the Divinity, remember that most things turn out ok. Make a few small, exploratory steps to build confidence and overcome the fear.
Order. Strictly rank your work projects, and focus on the top three. Get your manager to agree to the order, and agree that the other things are a lower priority. Next, do not accept any meetings or last minute requests that are not part of the top three. Offer kind alternatives – 5 minutes on the phone instead of a 30 minute meeting, or offer to meet the following week.

What soul trait would you practice to bring better balance to your life?

Want to learn more about yourself? Click Here to take the Soul Trait Profile Quiz to see which Soul Traits might be contributing to your overwork.

An earlier version of this post called Through a Mussar Lens: Striving for Balance was published in Yashar on MARCH 2015. Click here to see it.