Greg Marcus - American Mussar

This Sin Explains Michigan State’s Decisions About Nassar

January 31, 2018 By Greg Marcus 1 Comment

In the last post, I explained how, the administration of Michigan State University in 2014 did not learn the lessons of the sexual abuse scandal at Penn State just a few years earlier. This sin explains Michigan State’s decisions: Idolatry. As I shared in my last blog post, they fell into corporate idolatry, and as a result dozens of additional girls were sexually abused because they allowed Larry Nassar to continue to see patients after Amanda Thomashow reported that he rubbed her breasts and vagina during a medical exam.

Here is an excerpt from my book “Busting Your Corporate Idol: Self Help for the Chronically Overworked” that explains what went wrong at Penn State, which serves as an example of what probably went wrong at Michigan State. We don’t have all the info yet, but when we do I suspect we’ll see similar dynamics. As background, Corporate idolatry is a modern form of idolatry in which we do what is best for the institution instead of the ethical guidelines given in the Torah and subsequent Jewish teachings. From a Mussar perspective, we are particularly focused on the guidelines of character and personal conduct.

As Mussar practitioners we have a responsibility to proactively try to prevent this thing from happening again. Read on to understand institutional pressures towards immoral action.

Why People at Penn State Fell into Idolatry

The 2011 sexual abuse scandal at Penn State University represents a sobering and upsetting example of what can happen when people fall into corporate idolatry. For over forty years Joe Paterno was the football coach at Penn State, and was widely respected as a leader, teacher, and philanthropist. How is it that Paterno and the top officials at Penn State University did not report assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky to the police for child abuse after Sandusky was discovered allegedly sodomizing a boy in the locker room shower? One explanation is corporate idolatry––Penn State University propagated a culture that put the interests of the institution (its football program in particular) ahead of the welfare of people. The high level of news coverage and detailed written reports allow insights into how corporate idolatry impacted people at all levels of the university.

In both 1998 and 2001, Paterno and the top officials at Penn State University did not report assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky to the police for child abuse. In 2012 Sandusky was convicted of forty-five counts that ranged from “endangering the welfare of children” to “involuntary deviate sexual intercourse.” Some of these crimes happened after 2001, and would have been prevented if Paterno, and other university officials had informed the police.

According to the report by former FBI Director Louis Freeh, Penn State had a “reverence for football program ingrained at all levels of the university.”11 This started from the top, with a “president who discouraged discussion and dissent,” and included the attendant who switched off CNN on the TV in the Penn State student center just before the Freeh Report was released.

Penn State University has a culture of idolatry because the culture prioritized football over the safety of children. Does this mean that everyone associated with the university are a bunch of evil idolators? Not at all. But, everyone at PSU is impacted by the pervasive foot- ball-first value system. And, people who opposed the football-first value system paid a price. For example, former VP of Student Affairs Vicky Triponey “butted heads with Paterno and his football supporters,” and according to The Daily Beast, was fired for investigating players for allegedly sexual assaults. Triponey’s boss, former PSU president Graham Spanier, allegedly gave her poor performance reviews because she “wasn’t fitting in with the ‘Penn State way.’”

Because the Freeh report, was based on interviews with hundreds of people, we have a unique opportunity to understand why people participated in Penn State’s football-first value system. I have seen these same four causes of idolatry in the stories I heard from the corporate world, as well as in the literature that discusses idolatry in the ancient world. make it possible to tease out the different reasons people commit idolatry

For personal advantage. I think many of the university officers embraced the culture of idolatry because it gave them perks, power, and wealth. According to the Freeh Report, these men “exhibited a striking lack of empathy for Sandusky’s victims by failing to inquire as to their safety and well-being.”16 They were more concerned with the reputation of the institution, and by extension their own reputations. I suspect that Paterno and the others used rationalizations to ease their consciences, and saw themselves as doing the right thing.
Out of habit and blind obedience. Timothy Curley, the former athletic director, is described as “a State College native with a long family history at Penn State.” Some at PSU referred to Curley as “Paterno’s errand boy,” and others characterized him as “loyal to a fault to university management and the chain of command; someone who followed instruction regardless of the consequences.”17
Out of fear. In the fall of 2000, a janitor saw Sandusky with a boy in the shower. By all accounts, the janitor was devastated by what he had seen but was afraid he would lose his job if he spoke up. He said the following to investigators, “I know Paterno has so much power, [and] if he wanted to get rid of someone, I would have been gone … football runs this univer- sity, and the university would have closed ranks to protect the football program at all costs.”18
By error. On November 9, 2011, Joe Paterno was fired from Penn State, and thousands of students rioted, chanting, “One more game.” This is what philosophers call “Idolatry by Error.” Idolatry by error is a behavior that persists due to cultural traditions whose foundation is based on incorrect information. These kids were raised on the notion that Paterno was a great leader who taught his players how to be great men. In other words, the protesters thought that Paterno had been scapegoated and that they were standing up against a great injustice.These same four reasons: personal advantage, habit, fear, and error help explain why people practice idolatry throughout the corporate world.

This excerpt from Busting Your Corporate Idol: Self Help For the Chronically Overworked was reprinted with the permission of the author. The full book is available on Amazon. Click here to learn more.

Three Mussar Traits To Help You Prevent Another Larry Nassar

January 31, 2018 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

Simone Biles, is a survivor of abuse by Larry Nassar.

The case of Larry Nassar is painful and horrible on many levels. Nassar will spend the rest of his life in jail for sexually abusing over 150 girls. And those girls will spend the rest of their lives dealing with the trauma that was inflicted on them. It is my hope that by writing this article, other people who suffered abuse can find the courage to talk about what happened to them, because talking about what happened is a key step towards healing. Here is an article on general healing, and a second article that focuses on healing in sexual contexts. Both articles carry an important message – survivors of sexual trauma can heal. It isn’t their fault, and there are many professionals available to help.

I am particularly angry and upset about the actions by Michigan State University officials who covered up Nassar’s abuse. (See this article in The Atlantic for the full details.) Clearly, they did not learn the lessons from the Penn State sexual abuse scandal, in which an assistant football coach was raping young boys on campus. As people who practice Mussar, we work to stay connected to our ethical traditions, and try to become alert to rationalizations that can lead us to stay silent, or even enable horrible abuse to continue.

Which brings us to the a second reason for this article: We must never allow loyalty to an institution to overcome our personal ethics. This is a modern form of idolatry, which I wrote about extensively in my first book Busting Your Corporate Idol: Self Help For the Chronically Overworked. Idolatry is creating an intermediary between yourself and the divine, and allowing the intermediary to set the terms of right and wrong.

Kristine Moore was the MSU employee in charge of investigating Amanda Thomashow’s complaint that Nassar massaged her breasts and vagina during a medical exam. Moore only consulted internal colleagues of Nassar and then prepared two different reports – 0ne for Thomashow,saying she didn’t know the difference between a medical procedure and sexual abuse. There was also a second, secret internal report that acknowledged the trauma inflicted by the doctor. In the end, Moore chose to protect the interests of the University over the safety of its students.

It is far too easy to say “I would never do such a thing.” I hope that is the case. But for many years I was caught up in corporate idolatry, and I put the needs of the company in front of the needs of people on a regular basis. No one’s life was ruined, but it was not ethical and my choices resulted in unnecessary pain for myself, my family, other employees, and our customers. Here are three Mussar traits to help you avoid the trap of Corporate Idolatry, and prevent another ethical lapse that enabled Larry Nasser

First Mussar Trait: Honor

Before you act, think of the impact of your actions on people, including yourself and your family. If the company wants you to skip a family event (or even worse, you feel you must skip the event for work, even if no one asks you to), think again.

Second Mussar Trait: Truth

Be on the lookout for rationalizations, and be honest with yourself. Have you ever had a thought like “Our company/University/Institution does so much good work, we need to protect it’s reputation.” If you have, it can open the door to rationalizations, like the one that led Kristine Moore to consult only with Nassar’s colleagues to find out if his exams were medically kosher.

Third Mussar Trait: Holiness.

It says in the Torah “You shall be holy.” It isn’t always clear what this means. As a rule of thumb, you can think of it as the quest to be Holy as living an ethical life according to the teachings of the Torah. This may be unfamiliar to you. Remember that building your character according to Torah’s teachings is striving to be a Mensch. The second commandment teaches us not to create graven images, those intermediaries I referred to above. Remember that your primary duty is to follow a higher calling – you can think of it as the Divine, Humanity, universal ethics. Whatever the case, if you often hear “you need to do what is best for the company,” beware! Nod your head politely, and then look to your heart and conscience for guidance on how to act.

What do you think of these Mussar traits? Will they really help us prevent a monster from hurting people longer than he should?

Ask yourself the following questions: Are there unethical people you know of who are unchecked? Are they sexually harassing others, acting as a bully, or treating vendors poorly? These people may not be monsters like Nassar, but their unethical conduct is unacceptable, and if you allow it to continue, other people may be hurt. In fact, when someone like Nassar and their ilk go down, they take down everyone around them.

See next article: This Sin Explains Michigan State’s Decisions About Nassar to learn more about corporate idolatry at Penn State and Michigan State.

Image by Agência Brasil Fotografias via Flickr CC

Five Mussar Practices To Charge Your Life In 2018

January 26, 2018 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

I am at my favorite Philz, drinking coffee, and reflecting on the past two years since American Mussar was founded. I’ve looked through so many of your stories, and am inspired and humbled by the ways that Mussar is changing your lives. 2018 is a year of blessing – 18 stands for life, and this year I am dedicated to helping you deepen your mussar practice. Below I’ll share five Mussar practices you can try. But first some background.

The last few months have been rough for me, with three parents in the hospital at various times with serious conditions. All three are on the mend thank goodness. The experience has really offered me lots of grist for the Mussar mill. Mussar has made it much easier for me to keep perspective, and to give myself time to recover my energy after difficult conversations before pushing on.

As is often the case with life, personal struggles can come against the backdrop of successes in other parts of life. As the American Mussar community has grown to over 1800 on the American Mussar Facebook page, and 5000 on the email list, your stories have been an inspiration to me to help me get through. Here are a few of the key highlights from 2017:

1. The Transform Yourself Through Jewish Wisdom Weekend was an amazingly transformative experience. I got to meet some of you there, and heard from many others who were not able to attend. This was our first live weekend event. The ten of us ended with our arms around each other, resolving to use the weekend as a springboard for change. One participant, Dr Dan Brown of San Diego said, “The Program has changed the trajectory of my life for the better.”

For me personally, it was also a breakthrough. You see, I struggle to feel satisfied. For all of my accomplishments, from MIT to the corporate world to my books, I never felt a sense of contentment like I did after this weekend. Yes, working to digest and unpack how Mussar can change your life left me with the highest feelings of satisfaction I have had. And since then, I’ve caught myself being happy and satisfied on multiple occasions. This may be commonplace for you, but for me it is a new and unique experience. If you have an opportunity to do an immersive experience like this one from any teacher you like, do it!

2. Stories of how Mussar is changing your lives. Here are a few examples:
• Healed sibling rivalry: You shared how Mussar helped you heal a 30 year sibling rivalry situation, and you chose to enjoy the holidays with people you rarely see rather than get sucked into old patterns.
• Loving Kindness: The blessing of being reminded of the impact you have on other people when you remember to practice Loving Kindness.
• Humility: You recognized how strongly you feel the need to be heard, and that sometimes it is too much for others. And you shared how it stemmed from a traumatic experience in your past. That recognition is a key step on the path to transformation.
I am so touched because you’ve let me touch you in this way.

3. I am particularly grateful to my 1:1 coaching clients. It has been a privilege to listen to your stories, and work with you to overcome those things holding you back and causing unnecessary suffering in your lives. To see you grow and thrive has been the best part of my week.

4. You let me into your lives through the book too. In the 15 months since The Spiritual Practice of Good Actions: Finding Balance Through the Soul Traits of Mussar was published, you’ve bought almost 2000 copies, and left more than 50 Reviews on Amazon. The latest particularly touches my heart. This book is changing my life …it takes the daunting and seemingly insurmountable spiritual journey of improving one’s character and reduces it to taking the first step, then the next, and so on. Read the full review here .

5. Rolling out the American Mussar Parenting Curriculum by working with lay leaders at two large synagogues. With just a few hours of training, anyone can use these materials to facilitate a mussar parenting group. One leader, from Temple Isaiah in Lafayette CA said the following after just two meetings, “I’m amazed at how the teachings are already having a positive effect on people’s lives.”

The key to Mussar is taking action, and you are discovering that taking one small step is everything – it is the whole game, because a first step leads to a second step and then a third step. But if you don’t take that first step, the journey never begins. Once you’ve taken it, you’ll begin building resilience to pick the practice up again with much less activation energy.

My focus for 2018 is to help you deepen your Mussar practice. There is no one size fits all solution. Here are five Mussar practices you could try. I don’t care which one you pick, but pick one.

1. Read a Mussar book. Here is a list of classic and modern Mussar books to choose from.
2. Schedule a free one hour strategy consultation with me. I love these calls. I listen, and then help you start to craft a strategy to become unstuck, get through a transition, or get to the next level in your practice. If you’d like to schedule the call, just click here to schedule one.
3. Sign up for the American Mussar Sampler program. For 13 weeks, you’ll get an email with practice prompts with a link to a video to give you a structure to practice the 13 soul traits in The Spiritual Practice of Good Actions. The cost of the sampler is $24 – a discount off the regular price of $36. As a special bonus, I’ll include a copy of the matching mantra cards, which have a retail value of $18 with free shipping within the US. Click Here to Order.
4. Sign up for the waiting list for the upcoming Mussar intensive courses. This will be a series of one month virtual Mussar groups each focused on a particular issue. Planning for the Mussar intensives will begin soon – we’ll be asking for your advice. By signing up for the waiting list, you will have the first opportunity to sign up for the class, and get a discount. Sign Up Here

5. Try a Patience Practice from the Mussar Parenting Curriculum. Sign up at the bottom of the info page here, and I’ll send you the participants and facilitators guides for you to review and select a practice.

My heart is really full because the practice is spreading. Please comment below and let me know what you are deciding to do. Let me tell you, if you are thinking to yourself, “I really should do this, but I have too much going on,” take my advice and just go ahead and do it. It will be a step forward. When in doubt, do the phone call. Nothing is more precious than your time, and if after 30 minutes you think it is a waste of time, we can end it then and there with no hard feelings.

As Rabbi Hillel said, “If I am not for myself who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when?”

2018 is a year of blessing – 18 stands for life, and this year I am dedicated to helping you deepen your mussar practice.

Most sincerely,

Greg

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

The Surprising Connection Between Hanukkah and Self Esteem: A Mussar Practice

December 13, 2017 By Greg Marcus 2 Comments

Happy Hanukkah! Hanukkah is a holiday of joy, to celebrate a miracle. While today we point to the miracle of the lights, the original miracle was the victory of the Maccabees over the Greeks. In this time of darkness for many people, we can take heart from both miracles. And as you will see below, there is a surprising connection between Hanukkah and self esteem.

Whether or not you are Jewish, there is a Mussar practice I am going to share that I think you will find meaningful.

****Here’s the Practice*****
Be a shamus to light other peoples flame

In Hanukkah, we light candles for eight nights. We don’t light the candles directly. First we light the shamus, a candle on a higher level than the others. Then, we use the shamus to light the other candles. In this practice, you will become a shamus, to light other people’s flame. The shamus is a servant, and thus when we seek to light another’s flame, we do so from a place of serving another.

This idea of lighting another’s flame my seem a bit abstract. I think of it as being an inspiration to others, to help them achieve more in the world. To bring it more down to earth, let’s put it in the context of the soul trait of Humility. Remember that Humility is about occupying your proper place in the universe, a balance between arrogance and self-abasement. Inspiring others requires “occupying more space,” that is moving more towards the arrogance side of the spectrum.

You might ask yourself, “Who am I to inspire others?” The answer is that you are a soul in the Divine image. You can be an inspiration, even if you normally hold yourself back from a lack of self-esteem.

You can be a light by leading by example, or better yet, by serving. How can you help someone else achieve their dream? It doesn’t need to be a Martin Luther King level dream. It can be something simple, like helping achieve a night of peace in the home. Or if your spouse is always asking you to stay off your phone, you can put it away for an evening and focus on being present.

Hanukkah is a holiday of joy and celebration. Take this occasion to be a light to others and help them bring more joy and goodness to the world.
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It is easy to be distracted by the commercial aspects of Hanukkah and Christmas. And it is very easy to let the holidays add to the overwhelm many of us are feeling. I hope you’ll take this opportunity to slow down, and take a moment to light other people’s flames. Serving can be far more fulfilling than leading.

Want to find out which parts of our Soul cause you to get in the way of serving others, or lead you to serve others too much at the expense of yourself? Click here to take the Soul Trait Quiz now.

Silence: A Mussar Practice For Trump Angst

October 16, 2017 By Greg Marcus 18 Comments

Would you like a mussar practice for Trump angst? First a question: If you hate Trump so much, why do you keep talking about him?

I asked that question to a close relative over the weekend. We were sitting together, watching TV when he said, “I am smarter than that guy, referring to a sports expert.” He had a little grin on his face, and from the way he said it, I could tell that he was lampooning Trump’s statement that he was smarter than Secretary of State Rex Tillerson.

In another conversation about the suffering in Puerto Rico, someone said “the problem is that Puerto Rico is an island, surrounded by water.” She looked at me expectantly, with almost a hunger for me to engage.

A few months ago, I posted something on Twitter, and out of the blue someone tweeted the “That explains Trump.” I made no response, and I imagine a great disappointment in the poster that I did not take the bait.

In each case, it appeared that the person was looking for me to justify and feed their anger. I see the exchanges on Facebook all the time. One person rants, and their friends jump in, either agreeing or disagreeing. Everyone is angry.

If this sounds at all like you, let me ask you: Is this the life you want to live? Is this what Judaism teaches us, to feed anger and disaffection? I know, we are supposed to speak out against injustice. But what injustice are we speaking about when we bring up Trump out of the blue to make fun of him? Here, you are just feeding the anger within.

The Talmud teaches “Whosoever yields to anger, if he be a wise man his wisdom leaves him, and if he be a prophet his prophecy leaves him.” (Pesachim 66b). In modern language, the Talmud is saying that when we get angry, we don’t think straight, and we do things we may regret. I know that when I am angry, I say and do some really hurtful things to the people I care most about.

In addition, insulting Trump instead of talking about actual issues amounts to gossip, which in Hebrew is known as lashon ha’ra. The Talmud teaches that harmful speech kills three people – the speaker, the listener, and the one being talked about. Rabbi Joseph Teluskin argues that avoiding gossip allows the speaker and listener to form a closer relationship because they are forced to focus on each other. Thus, when we bring up Trump at random times, we lose an opportunity to really connect and get to know other people. It may feel good to share misery, but it won’t actually make you feel better. And it won’t help you form community.

Instead of giving in to the urge to mock Trump, practice the Soul Trait of Silence. In the Mussar classic Cheshbon Ha’nefesh, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Levin wrote, “Before you open your mouth, be silent and reflect: What benefit will my speech bring to me or others?” One way to begin this Mussar practice is to write Levin’s phrase on an index card or sticky note, and put it on your bed table where you will see it in the morning. Read, chant, and/or contemplate it for a minute to begin your day. This will make you more aware of thoughtless speech in general. Next, stop and reflect before you say anything. As you become more mindful of your speech, you can choose to avoid the mocking speech we discussed above.

Lets consider a world in which you don’t bring up Trump at random times. It opens the door to focus on positive things that bring you energy and joy. I’ve seen it happen again and again – a positive conversation gets derailed into anger, frustration, and cynicism. Instead of allowing your negative side to bring the conversation down with insults, look for an opportunity to bring the conversation up. Staying present and plugged into the world is both empowering and life affirming. After all, our mission is Tikkun Olam, repair of the world. And mocking speech never repaired anything

Mussar has soul traits to help us focus on Tikkun Olam in the face of anger and despair. It is not enough simply to say “No Trump thoughts” or “keep it positive.” A full mussar practice for Trump angst requires a strategy to focus on something else.

Come back next week to read a post on moving from anger to Tikkun Olam.

Want to know which soul traits you need to work on? Take the Soul Trait Profile Quiz.