“I love packing and moving!”
Said no one, ever.
After 22 years in the home where we raised our children, Rachel and I are preparing to move to the Denver area, where I’ll be starting as the new rabbi at B’nai Torah in Westminster. It is a huge transition, that impacts the body, mind, and spirit. I’ve noticed a lot of soul traits in play helping me along the way.
Moving is also a metaphor for getting unstuck, which is very much in the Mussar wheelhouse. When we are stuck, it is hard to find a path forward, and sometimes we don’t even know where to start. Maybe one of these five soul traits can help you “get moving” as well.
Mussar Trait 1: Enthusiasm / Alacrity
As a reminder, the trait of enthusiasm is not about the rah-rah—it’s more about taking action. Another translation is alacrity, which means to be prompt and cheerful in taking action.
I can’t say that I was always cheerful, but when we were in Denver looking for a house to rent, we needed to make decisions quickly. We decided to proactively keep checking Zillow for new listings. The house we rented was one that became available the day we arrived, and we were the first to see it the next morning. We applied immediately—on a phone while eating sandwiches at a local deli.
Where can you apply alacrity to help you get moving?
Mussar Trait 2: Order
Planning, planning, planning. We have several spreadsheets and lists to break down this monumental task into doable chunks. We also bought a big pack of red, green, and yellow stickers to label furniture and other things around the house so we can immediately see what we want to bring, and what we want to get rid of.
How might a list help you get moving?
Mussar Trait 3: Silence
This trait governs when we should speak and when to remain quiet. Moving is one of the most stressful things people go through, and there have been several times when I’ve had to hang in there and listen during a stressful moment with my partner. I’ve also tried to ask for what I need and ask for clarity if I’m not sure what my partner needs.
How might better communication help you get moving?
Mussar Trait 4: Patience
It doesn’t matter how much I wish I could just skip this part and get to the end. That is not the way the world works. There is a lot of “grind it out” work that needs to be done in a move. It’s not necessarily fun, although there is a satisfaction in getting rid of things that no longer “spark joy,” as Marie Kondo would say.
Patience is about enduring an uncomfortable situation that we have little control over. Yes, I made the choice to move—but that set off a chain of events that I can only ride and not control. As the mantra reminds us:
“This too shall pass, and I have the strength to get by until it does.”
How might patience help you reduce your suffering as you work to get moving?
Mussar Trait 5: Trust
Trusting in the Divine. Many of us are uncomfortable bringing God into everyday life, and don’t really believe in Divine intervention. You don’t need to in order to benefit from trust.
“Trust in God but tie your camel” is the mantra. It reminds us that there is only so much we can do. It is easy to get caught up in worry about the future.
“What if my new congregation doesn’t like my ideas? What if I don’t make any new friends? What if the plane gets delayed and the cats wake up and start yowling?”
Trust helps us combat worry by reminding us that we do our best to prepare, and at some point we need to let go of the outcome. In the end, I really do trust in the Divine / the Universe / myself that everything will be okay.
How might trust help you worry less and get moving?
Bonus Mussar Trait: Gratitude
Recognizing the good—the essence of gratitude—is a never-ending font of energy.
And as always, I am super grateful for this community. I look forward to resuming our weekly gatherings on Zoom August 28th.
Which of these traits can help you get moving?
Please reply or leave a comment and let me know. I’ll do my best to answer.
Rabbi Greg,
As one who has moved 37 times from across town to across state lines, I deeply sympathize with your move. Your points to ponder were amazing and right on point. So much doubt comes at moving time! To encourage you: they will love you. You are endearing and will make new friends! Your Elohim is with you. His hand is on your life and that of your beloved wife and loved ones. I can’t help but think of Father Abraham and his many moves in the desert… May the move and the settling in be more joyful and fruitful than you could ever imagine. May the finding of new friends be swift and rewarding. I am praying for you and yours and that The presence of G_d is ever with you. Looking forward to your next post.
Thank you so much Juli – a great connection to Abraham too!
Your prayers are much appreciated.