Last Saturday, I officiated at my daughter’s wedding, and I still have a big smile on my face.
A big part of the joy was being with almost all of the important people in my life. It would not have been nearly as joyful had she chosen a wedding with two witnesses at the courthouse.
It also happened to be the first day of Sukkot
On Sukkot, we are supposed to feel joyful. But is that a reasonable thing to require?
Life has its ups and downs. If we are going through illness or joblessness, grieving a loss, or worried about something happening in the world, can we really just turn on the joy?
In fact, the expectation that we should feel joyful could lead us to feel worse. We may even turn to addictive behaviors or other distractions for short-term comfort.
This is where our Mussar practice can help bring on the Sukkot joy
Joy Is Something We Can Practice
To begin with, Joy—simcha in Hebrew—is a soul trait, a spiritual quality. When we get in the habit of practicing Joy, we can lean on that practice to find some element of Joy even when we don’t feel particularly joyful.
That doesn’t mean pretending everything is wonderful when it isn’t. Instead, we can practice Sukkot Joy in a few ways.
Practice Gratitude. Think of something you ordinarily take for granted in your life. Don’t just recognize the good—marinate in it. Allow yourself to feel the pleasure of something as simple as clean air or wearing your favorite shirt. When you do, Joy can seep in.
Celebrate someone else’s Joy. Rabbi Nosson Tzvi Finkel once gave himself a private banquet because he heard about a stranger in another country who had won a great prize. What can you do to celebrate another person’s good fortune? This is also a way to practice the soul trait of Honor.
Connect with something higher. For example, try a Jewish meditation that focuses on the Divine Name YHVH. This may not be your jam and may seem a bit out there. But for some people, this kind of connection can bring not only a sense of peace, but Joy.
Maybe Sukkot Isn’t Asking Us to Flip a Switch
Judaism also teaches that Joy is something we experience in community.
Maybe the Sukkot teaching isn’t really about magically flipping a switch and making ourselves feel good. Maybe it is more about creating the conditions in which Joy has a chance to find us.
We come together with friends, family, and community. We share a meal under the sukkah. We appreciate what we have even while sitting in a deliberately fragile structure that reminds us how uncertain life can be.
My daughter’s wedding reminded me of this. Yes, I was joyful because my daughter got married. But so much of that Joy came from sharing the moment with people I love.
We don’t always get to choose how we feel. But we can choose practices that make a little more room for Joy.
If you would like to connect more deeply with the American Mussar community, our weekly gathering meets every Thursday at 4 Pacific / 5 Mountain / 6 Central / 7 Eastern. No experience is needed, and please invite a friend too!
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What is one small way you could make room for Sukkot Joy —even if life isn’t particularly joyful right now? Please answer below. I answer every comment.
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