How Much Space Do We Take Up?
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the space we take up in the world.
Not just physical space, but emotional and spiritual space, too — in relationships, in community, and especially in leadership. I’ve stepped into a role where people tend to look to me for direction, and that’s a gift. But it’s also a responsibility.
Because leadership isn’t about talking the loudest. It’s about knowing when to speak… and when to step back so others can rise.
The Question: How Much Space Should I Take Up?
This question sits at the heart of the Mussar practice of Anavah — humility. Alan Morinis captures it beautifully:
“No more than my space, not less than my place.”
I am in a new leadership position, a position that naturally invites me to take up more space. Some of it is appropriate. I am the spiritual leader in the community. However, there are many other leaders, including the Board and my clergy partner. My job is not to override them, nor is it to dictate to congregants what they should or should not think about politics or Israel. I view my position as rabbi as I view my position in the American Mussar community – guide and empower others on their spiritual journeys.
The running of the synagogue is a partnership. In fact, I try to be very careful about what I do and do not ask for, because congregants and volunteers will want to do what they can to meet my requests. I’ve experienced too many leaders who take up too much space, sending people running left and right to meet a flurry of requests. In fact, I’ve been that leader.
I’ve taken up too much space before. And I’ve also held back when my voice or presence was needed. Getting it right is a practice — a lifelong one.
Mussar Reflection: Where Do You Stand?
So I’m asking myself daily:
Where is it mine to act — and where is it mine to step back?
Some days the practice is stepping forward.
Other days it’s creating space for someone else to shine.
How about you?
Where in your life could you take up more space — or less?
Let this be a gentle invitation to notice the size of your presence. Not to shrink, and not to dominate — but to stand in the right-sized space that’s truly yours.
Your Turn
Where are you practicing this balance in your life?
Please share below. I try to answer every comment.
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