mussar practice - American Mussar

Spiritual Responsibility: I Am Responsible For The Health Care Vote

July 27, 2017 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

When there is a public catastrophe, who has spiritual responsibility? It is hard to think of the votes to repeal Obamacare as anything but a catastrophe in the making. In Judaism, we place the highest value on human life. And make no mistake, if these bills become law, tens of millions of people will lose their health insurance. And without health insurance, many of these people will die prematurely. As it says in the Talmud (Sanhedrin 4:5) “Whoever destroys a soul, it is considered as if he destroyed an entire world. And whoever saves a life, it is considered as if he saved an entire world.”

It is so easy to blame others. I would like nothing better than to get on Facebook and Twitter to rage against the people who voted for this bill. I’d love to lash out at the people who voted for the politicians who supported this bill. I could write volumes, accusing various politicians and their supporters of being terrible people, and point to various verses in Torah to support my position. But that is not a spiritual answer to this crisis.

In his book “This Is Real And You Are Completely Unprepared,” Rabbi Alan Lew writes that when it comes to a catastrophe, “the only question worth asking about any recurring catastrophe, is this: what is my responsibility for it? How am I complicit in it? How can I prevent it from happening again?”

Therefore, while I did not vote for anyone responsible for the Obamacare rollback, I need to take personal responsibility. Thus, spiritual responsibility is very different than the types of leadership and personal responsibility that we usually talk about. I take responsibility for this situation in the following two ways.

Spiritual Responsibility for the Electoral College

I have never spoken out against the Electoral College. If we had a different system of government, in which the person who gets the most votes becomes President, we would not be in this situation. As a people, we made a vow of Never Again after the Holocaust. But after the 2000 election, when Al Gore won the popular vote, he was denied the Presidency because the supreme court stopped a recount. As a result, George Bush became President, invaded Iraq, and hundreds of thousands of people died. I never demanded an end to the Electoral College after Bush. As a result, we once again have a President who is not supported by the majority of Americans, and who is putting lives at risk.

Spiritual Responsibility for the gerrymandering

I have never taken a stand against gerrymandering, the process of setting up congressional districts to favor one political party over another. The problem is acute, and largely underreported. For example, according to the New York Times, in 2012, 1.5 million more people voted for Democrats in Congress, but the outcome was a 234 to 201 Republican majority. More recently, AP reported that in 2016, gerrymandering resulted in a comfortable Republican majority instead of a narrow one in the House. This fall the Supreme Court will look at whether Wisconsin’s redistricting plan is constitutional. Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg has called this case the most important one the Supreme court will hear next term. And, Rabbi Michael Knopf argues that gerrymandering is against Jewish law. He explains that we are all descended from one person, and therefore all have equal value (Sanhedrin 4:5).

Spiritual Responsibility & Mussar Practice

Judaism and Mussar practice in particular, teaches that it is not enough to do no harm; rather we must proactively do good. When it comes to decisions like going to war, or removing healthcare from tens of millions of people, we need a system that awards power to the person with the most votes.

I don’t know if Obamacare will be repealed or not. It doesn’t matter, because as long as the Electoral College and gerrymandering are supported by rule of law, we remain at risk for a continued assault on the values we hold most dear. While the Republican Party is benefitting today from gerrymandering and the Electoral College, that could change in the future. If California and New York were to gerrymander the way Wisconsin and Pennsylvania did, our system would be worse, the the power would shift. We don’t want to live in that world. The Soul Trait of Truth teaches us to distance ourselves from a false matter, and the more we have gerrymandering, the farther we are from the truth.

As a Mussar community, we need to stand against this injustice, and demand an end to gerrymandering and the electoral college. I am firmly convinced that if our President and legislatures are more reflective of public opinion, we will have a government that works for the people instead of putting their lives at risk.

Ok, this is how I am taking spiritual responsibility for this situation. But Mussar, like all spiritual practices, is individual. How will you take spiritual responsibility? Please comment below.

Three Tips To Practice Mussar Equanimity

June 13, 2017 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

Many people starting their Mussar journey jump to the chapter on Equanimity. I remember doing exactly that, and then being confused. In this post, I’ll explain why this soul trait is hard, and offer you some ways to practice Mussar Equanimity. As you may recall, Equanimity translates directly from Hebrew as “calmness of the soul.” Equanimity in balance means that, we have the ability to keep our head, to not get too high when things are going well, and not too low in a setback.

Right now, my own Equanimity is being challenged. You have been sending me lots of feedback on what to write about, and I have to battle not to get too excited – part of me wants to just keep working to learn everything I can, and turn that info around in blog posts and new offerings. That voice is my Evil Inclination, trying to get me off the workaholic bandwagon. I know that path, and the outcome for me isn’t good.

My Equanimity was challenged in the opposite direction, this past weekend. I was talking to a friend from my corporate days, who mentioned that he ran into someone who I used to work with. I was surprised at how overcome I was with negative feelings. Yes, I have reason to dislike this person, because they directly caused me “harm” and made some decisions that in my opinion set back the company in a big way. I “watched” in amazement as my Equanimity was thrown off. I became upset – my blood pressure went up, and I started bad mouthing the person. The latter is a real Mussar no no, and I knew it. Yet the words just tumbled out of my mouth.

WOW. This is exactly why Mussar is a practice. We need to keep working to gradually over time heal and bring these soul traits towards balance. I’ll frame the remainder of the story around three paths to help you practice Mussar Equanimity.

1. Practice Mussar Equanimity Directly

I think of Equanimity as being what Eckhart Tolle calls “the watcher,” which is our higher consciousness that exists independently of, and behind the thinking mind. When we are the watcher, we are mindfully present, and better able to access our free will. In the story above, I was being the watcher as my ego bad mouthed this person. Because I was mindfully present, I said less than I might have otherwise, and limited myself to a factual recitation of the things the person had done. I kept judging thoughts out of my mouth. For example, I did not use words like “evil” or “poisonous.”

It is very hard to directly build Equanimity. It required a practice like mediation to learn how to both observe and quiet thoughts as they come into the head. Tolle’s book The Power of Now is the best I have read on the direct approach to Equanimity.

2. Practice Mussar Equanimity Indirectly

There is a reason that I put the chapter on Equanimity late in my Mussar book. It is hard to just do, especially because our Equanimity is often thrown off by other underlying soul traits that are out of balance. I can look within, and see many other soul traits that contributed to my Equanimity imbalance. For example, my Honor was activated because today I was judging this person based on something they did 10 years ago; Humility because I think I know better than this person who was much more senior than I was; Silence because I could not keep quiet; and of course Forgiveness. I am a grudge holder. Rabbi Micha Berger has an interesting suggestion on how not to hold a grudge in this article. Part of the answer is to remember a teaching from Alan Morinis – often when things go wrong, they only seem wrong to us, which is a gift because we are being shown a part of our spiritual curriculum, and thus an opportunity for growth.

By committing to our Mussar practice, we begin to heal the various soul traits that disturb our Equanimity.

3. Take a Walk in Nature.

Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook once wrote the following: “The song of the birds as they perch in the trees… the sweet smells of lilies and the fruit of God’s garden…return one’s mind to it’s natural state.” (With Heart in Mind by Alan Morinis chapter 12). Kook’s advice to seek nature to restore tranquility is supported by modern science – numerous studies have shown that being in nature lowers blood pressure, and improves depression.

Sorry, there are no magic bullets. But that good news is that a Mussar practice can be conducted in about 5 minutes a day. They are five minutes that can and will transform your life.

Want to figure out which soul traits are disturbing your equanimity? Take the Soul Trait Profile Quiz.

Mussar Practice Can Heal the Political Divide Within the Jewish Community

May 19, 2017 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

Whoever you voted for in the last Presidential election, I think we can all agree that we are living in dangerous times for the US, Israel, and the American Jewish community. We are seeing an uptake in anti-sematic acts like the burning of the Beth Hamedrash Hagadol synagogue in New York that is suspected to be caused by arson, and the desecration of Jewish cemeteries. In my area in San Francisco Bay Area, some synagogues are hiring on site security people for the first time to allay the fears of parents about dropping their kids off. To deal with this time of danger, we need to recognize that Mussar practice can heal the political divide within the Jewish community.

Jane Eisner’s editorial in the Forward “Enough After Israel Intelligence Betrayal?” makes the argument that President Trump’s recent actions have exacerbated the danger to Jews and Israel. Eisner highlights many of the actions Trump has or his administration have taken, such as failure to keep his promises to relocate the US embassy to Jerusalem, and to cancel the Iran Deal. In addition, Trump berated an Orthodox Jewish reporter, stood by when someone in his administration said that the Kotel is not part of Israel, and now has endangered Israeli intelligence assets by improperly communicating info to Russia. She gives each example to build a case why Jewish (mostly Orthodox) Trump supporters should reconsider their support for the President.

While I agree with many of Eisner’s points, the article has an accusatory tone, with a subtext of “how can you still be so stupid to stand by Trump.” I’m sorry, but rubbing Trump voters’ noses in the poo will not change anyone’s mind, and certainly won’t help heal the divide plaguing this country.

Right now we are in the period of the Omer, when we remember the 24,000 disciples of Rabbi Akiva who died because they did not have Kavod (Honor/Respect) for one another. The deep divisions within American, and within the Jewish community concern me, and make me wonder if we are setting ourselves up for another great tragedy. There is no way Trump would have been elected were it not for a reservoir of pain, frustration, and alienation for him to exploit.

The Jewish Spiritual Practice of Mussar offers each of us an alternative. We can practice the soul trait of Honor by listening, questioning, and inviting the Other into relationship. Rather than ask, “have you had enough yet?” we can ask, “Is this what you were expecting?” You voted based on one set of information. As new information comes to the fore, is this a President you can still support? Where do we have common ground? We may disagree on the Egalitarian space at the Wall, but we all agree that it is an inseparable and integral part of Israel.

Mussar is a Jewish spiritual practice that can help each and every one of us become a mensch. The first step is to stop salivating on the non-menchy behavior or mistakes of others. Pirkei Avot (1:6) teaches that we should give all individuals the benefit of the doubt. Let’s be clear – I am not advocating giving Trump the benefit of the doubt, not given the pattern of behavior we have seen these last months in office. But the people who voted for them, how about we show them the benefit of the doubt?

Now more important than ever. We must resist the urge to say “I told you so”, or to characterize supporters on the other side as evil, racist, weak, stupid, or corrupt. To be frank, the last election no longer matters, nor does the next one. What matters is healing our community to stand together against a common threat. We saw a great example of this recently when Jewish students from across the political spectrum came together at Northwestern to protest a convicted Palestinian terrorist who was speaking.

The split between the Orthodox and the rest of the Jewish community is not a secret. If we can model menchy behavior, respectful speech, healing, and coming together towards a common position on the political crisis, imagine the example we could set for the rest of the world. For as it says in Proverbs 18:19 “It is harder to win an offended brother than a strong city.” And when we do, we shall be a “light to the nations— so that all the world may be saved.” Isaiah 49:6.

This is not a job you can outsource to someone else. Mussar practice offers a path in which we take responsibility for our own actions. As a first step, elevate your conduct on the internet, by replacing shaming and accusatory language with questioning, listening, and inviting another’s opinion into your worldview. As it says in Proverbs “To answer someone before hearing him out is both stupid and embarrassing.”

The good news is that we don’t need to model consensus or universal agreement. We just need to model how to disagree and remain in community. And when we do, the areas of common interest will rise to the fore.

Who will you reach out to today?

Looking for a Mussar book that focuses on social action? Check out Changing the World from the Inside Out: A Jewish Approach to Personal and Social Change by Rabbi David Jaffe on our Mussar Books page.

Assume You Have a Divine Spark, an American Mussar Practice

May 16, 2017 By Greg Marcus 2 Comments

Recently I got the following question by email:

I’ve seen you write on several occasions that we all have a Divine Spark. I don’t believe it. I need external validation. My Divine Spark is flickering. It is very faint. What advice can you give me?

– Dark Inside

Dear Dark Inside,

Thank you for having the courage to admit that is how you feel. You are not alone. I also need external validation. As I shared in my book – despite my Ph.D. from MIT, and string of career successes, I felt worthless. To this day, I still fight those feelings, but thanks to Mussar they are not nearly as strong as they used to be.

My advice? Stop trying to believe that you have a Divine Spark. Rather, assume you have a Divine Spark. When we assume something to be true, we act as if it is, and don’t waste mental energy wondering and debating. Then, when a voice of doubt starts to talk in your head, you can answer with confidence based on this assumption. (See this excerpt which explains the Four Assumptions of American Mussar)

Moreover, the full assumption that I teach in The Spiritual Practice of Good Actions is that we all have a Divine Spark that is occluded by our baggage. When we practice Mussar, it helps us move the bags and let the light shine through. Or as Leonard Cohen wrote, the cracks let the light in.

I love the image of a flickering Divine Spark that you share. It is wonderful, because the flickering is caused by the baggage, not any defect in your spark. Again, you don’t need to believe it, just assume it is true, and use that as a basis for your Mussar practice.

Ask yourself, what if it were true that you have a Divine Spark? How would that change your self image, even for a moment? Rabbi Akiva taught that we were given two gifts, a Divine Spark and the knowledge that we have a Divine Spark. (Pirkei Avot 3:14). Knowing that you have a Divine Spark gives you the knowledge and comfort that you already have everything you need.

Remember that Mussar practice is a practice. By practice, I mean something that we do every day. We practice a musical instrument so that when the concert arrives, we play better. We practice Mussar to exercise our spiritual muscles in small situations. Then, when the challenge arrives, we find ourselves acting in a different way.

I encourage you to commit to your Mussar practice. Simply reading this post will not get you anywhere. In fact, your Evil Inclination may take this opportunity to make you feel better. Simply being reassured will set you back unless you allow that feeling to empower you to take action.

Each time you take action, you make a small change in your soul. Slowly, slowly over time the small changes will add up. The good news is that the more out of balance you feel, the more opportunity you have to make progress quickly.

So pick a soul trait, any soul trait, and commit to it for two weeks. Do the mantra, observe mindfully through the day, pick one small area for change, and journal at night. (I know, we all hate the journaling part.) Just write a few words on your napkin after dinner.

The next time you think your Divine Spark is faint, don’t sweat it. It just appears to be faint, the the corona around the sun during a lunar eclipse. Just assume the sun is burning brightly, and moving the moon even a bit will restore light to the world.

Sincerely,

Greg, practitioner, facilitator, and innovator of American Mussar

Not sure which soul trait to start with? Take the Soul Trait Profile Quiz for inspiration.

Want to learn more? Check out the list of Mussar books.

Trans Outing on Survivor: a Mussar Practice Lesson

April 18, 2017 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BXqrOSNKn0

If you are a Survivor fan, you already watched the tribal council when Jeff outed Zeke as a transgender man, arguing that Zeke’s secrecy made him untrustworthy. This tribal council represents a rare opportunity to glean a Mussar practice lesson from a complicated and painful human experience. I was stunned, not only because it was a cruel and dangerous thing to do, but because I am practicing the Mussar Soul Trait of Silence this week. Silence governs when we should speak and when we shouldn’t. Of course you don’t need Mussar to know that Jeff should have stayed Silent. But what Mussar can teach us is how to process the entire experience.

Mussar Practice Lesson 1: The Evil Inclination will lead you hurt others to save yourself

Remember that the Evil Inclination represents our survival instincts. Because Varner was facing elimination, he allowed his survival instincts to override his conscience. The EI operates in the subconscious, and provides a wealth of rationalizations to justify bad behavior.

Varner: “I feel horrible about it, I’m just trying everything I can”

Ozzie “Jeff, you should be ashamed of yourself for what you are willing to do for a million dollars.”

Probst: “You are saying there is no line. If I am desparate enough, I will do or say anything.”

Mussar Practice Lesson 2: The Evil inclination will lead you to rationalize your decisions

Varner:”I thought he was out and proud and loud about [being trans].” (5:30)

Others did not buy Varner’s argument

Sarah: If you thought that, why did you make a point of everyone had to know it.”

Probst: “You can’t have it both ways, to say he was deceptive, and then immediately say he was out and proud of it.”

Sarah: “That was a malicious attack”

Varner: “There was no malice in it. … I don’t treat people that way. … I don’t want you to paint me as something I’m not.”

Mussar Practice Lesson 3: We can have Compassion for someone who has messed up, even as we deliver consequences.

The cast member Tai, who is gay, was crying and upset when Varner outed Zeke. Yet he still showed compassion for Varner a few minutes later when he put his hand on Varner’s back as he wept. Tai at one point said, “I can understand he was desperate, and crossed a line that he didn’t realize he did.” This is the soul trait of compassion in action, feeling what another person feels, and seeing it from their point of view. And he presented compassion in balance, and did not let Varner off the hook.

Mussar Practice Lesson 4: Humility helps you through a crisis

Zeke showed amazing Humility, in that he seems to know who he is. While visibly upset, he didn’t go to pieces, apologize, or point fingers. And, he explained why he didn’t tell anyone. (8:08)

Transitioning is a long and difficult process. There are people who know. I stopped telling people, because it becomes who you are … and overwhelms everything else that they know about you…I didn’t want to be the trans survivor player, I wanted to be Zeke the survivor player. … So I think I’m ok.”

Jeff Probst also displayed amazing Humility balance, occupying his space by keeping control of a very emotional and raw conversation.

Learn more about Humility Here.

Mussar Practice Lesson 5: Good Can come out of bad situations.

The soul trait of Gratitude teaches that we should give thanks for the bad, because often there is a unique opportunity that comes out of awful things. Varner’s behavior was awful, yet something amazing happened.

Sarah Lacina explained her personal growth (11:15):

Sarah: “I’m thankful that I got to know Zeke for who Zeke is. I’m from the midwest. I come from a super conservative background. It’s not very diverse when it comes to gay and lesbian and transgender … I’m not exposed to it like most of these people are. The fact that I can love this guy so much and it doesn’t change anything for me makes me realize that I’ve grown huge as a person… the metamorphosis that I’ve made as a person that I didn’t realize I made until this moment is invaluable. I’m sorry it came out that way, but I’m glad it did. I’m glad I got to know you as Zeke, and I’ll never look at you this way.”

And then Zeke was equally amazing. (12:00)

Zeke: “I’m certainly not someone who should be a role model for anyone else, but maybe there is someone who is a survivor fan and me being out on the show helps him or her or someone else. Maybe this will lead to a greater good.”

Probst: “Tonight was a complicated, but ultimately beautiful night, that will never be forgotten.”

Mussar Practice Lesson 6: We all have a choice

The reason why this was powerful, and ultimately positive experience was the choices that people made. Zeke’s tribe members chose to immediately speak out in his defense. They could have acted with revulsion at the news that Zeke was trans – I suspect that the North Carolina legislature would have voted him out on the spot, using the “deception” as a fig leaf to cover their prejudiced actions. Each and every one of us has a choice when faced with injustice. In fact, we face Choice Points all the time, where we have an opportunity to follow the influence of the Good Inclination or the Evil Inclination. In this Survivor episode, we saw one person make a very bad choice, and many more people make good choices.

Mussar practice requires knowledge of who you are. What Soul Traits hold you back? Take the Soul Trait Profile Quiz to find out. Click here to take the quiz.