One of the goals of a Mussar practice is to achieve a state of wholeness. What does that mean exactly? Just the sound of the phrase evokes almost a wistfulness in me, a longing for peace. Indeed, the Hebrew word for wholeness as the same root at the  Hebrew word for peace, which is Shalom.

Wholeness is to be comfortable in one’s own skin, warts and all. We know who we are, including our strengths and weaknesses, and we are at peace with it. That doesn’t mean that we are complacent, or “accepting of mediocrity.” Those phrases give voice to thoughts of self-judgements that can pain us. Rather, part of wholeness is to continue to strive for growth and internal healing. We do that striving from a place of peace and acceptance.

One of the assumptions of an American Mussar practice is: “We are driven by the conflict between the Evil Inclination and the Good Inclination.” Remember that the Evil Inclination is not the Voldmort type of evil – rather it is a label given to our selfish drives, as well as the influence of anger and sexuality. The evil inclination is an essential part of who we are. We don’t seek to get rid of it, but rather to guide it with our Good Inclination. Part of Mussar wholeness is accepting this dynamic, and practicing self-compassion when we miss the mark.

Finally, wholeness is a state of being. It is something that can come and go, and is something we can achieve from wherever we are. We don’t need to meet any particular achievement milestone, or listen to the voice of perfectionism to get to a state of wholeness. Rather, the more we can accept ourselves and others with love, the closer we are to wholeness.

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