Recently, a Jewish millennial came up to me when I was signing books after a presentation. He asked how he could find meaning and purpose. I didn’t know how to answer, so I asked a few questions.
Tell me about yourself
I know where I want to be in 40 years, but I don’t know how to get there.
Where do you want to be?
He went on to explain his goals, which were wonderful. He wanted to help Israel from America, and also to help IDF veterans.
Who do you want to be?
He looked at me with a blank stare.
Who do you want to be in 40 years, what kind of person do you want to be?
He explained how he wanted financial stability, to have made enough money so he was taken care of
He looked at me with wide eyes as he told me.
My heart just broke. Not because he said anything wrong, but because no one had told him there are more important things in life. Nowhere did he mention family or character.
And I felt admiration. In his early twenties, he intuitively sensed that just accomplishing things lacked meaning and purpose.
I was much much older when I figured that out.
Meaning and purpose is something we experience in the heart.
What if each of us were put here to perfect ourselves, to heal what needs to be healed inside? When we heal we become whole, and meaning and purpose manifest.
Until we are on a path to wholeness, we will forever be held back in any effort, be it a career, a relationship, or repairing the world.
I say path to wholeness because we are human, and have certain innate drives that we need to channel through ongoing work. Which brings to mind a Mussar practice to help.
*********************Here’s the Mussar Practice********************************************
Take a break from accomplishment on Shabbat, and just be. Whether or not you are Jewish, or practice Shabbat in a traditional way, you are invited to take a day to rest and nurture the soul.
About a year ago, I got serious and stopped working on Shabbat. In particular, I don’t check email.
A few months ago, I stopped checking social media on Shabbat. Both were hard transitions, and both were rewarding in the end.
As Abraham Joshua Heschel wrote in his masterpiece The Sabbath
“There is a realm of time where the goal is not to have but to be, not to own but to give, not to control but to share, not to subdue but to be in accord. Life goes wrong when the control of space, the acquisition of things of space, becomes our sole concern.”
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Please join me in this practice. What is one step you can take to make Shabbat a day of joy and rest? Do you see how this can help you find your meaning and purpose?
Please share below. I answer every comment.
Want to give Mussar a try? Start with the Soul Trait Quiz.
