mussar pirkei avot - American Mussar

Mussar Practice Can Heal the Political Divide — Is the Kotel part of Israel, or part of occupied territory?

Whoever you voted for in the last Presidential election, I think we can all agree that we are living in dangerous times for the US, Israel, and the American Jewish community. We are seeing an uptake in anti-sematic acts like the burning of the Beth Hamedrash Hagadol synagogue in New York that is suspected to be caused by arson, and the desecration of Jewish cemeteries. In my area in San Francisco Bay Area, some synagogues are hiring on site security people for the first time to allay the fears of parents about dropping their kids off. To deal with this time of danger, we need to recognize that Mussar practice can heal the political divide within the Jewish community.

Jane Eisner’s editorial in the Forward “Enough After Israel Intelligence Betrayal?” makes the argument that President Trump’s recent actions have exacerbated the danger to Jews and Israel. Eisner highlights many of the actions Trump has or his administration have taken, such as failure to keep his promises to relocate the US embassy to Jerusalem, and to cancel the Iran Deal. In addition, Trump berated an Orthodox Jewish reporter, stood by when someone in his administration said that the Kotel is not part of Israel, and now has endangered Israeli intelligence assets by improperly communicating info to Russia. She gives each example to build a case why Jewish (mostly Orthodox) Trump supporters should reconsider their support for the President.

While I agree with many of Eisner’s points, the article has an accusatory tone, with a subtext of “how can you still be so stupid to stand by Trump.” I’m sorry, but rubbing Trump voters’ noses in the poo will not change anyone’s mind, and certainly won’t help heal the divide plaguing this country.

Right now we are in the period of the Omer, when we remember the 24,000 disciples of Rabbi Akiva who died because they did not have Kavod (Honor/Respect) for one another. The deep divisions within American, and within the Jewish community concern me, and make me wonder if we are setting ourselves up for another great tragedy. There is no way Trump would have been elected were it not for a reservoir of pain, frustration, and alienation for him to exploit.

The Jewish Spiritual Practice of Mussar offers each of us an alternative. We can practice the soul trait of Honor by listening, questioning, and inviting the Other into relationship. Rather than ask, “have you had enough yet?” we can ask, “Is this what you were expecting?” You voted based on one set of information. As new information comes to the fore, is this a President you can still support? Where do we have common ground? We may disagree on the Egalitarian space at the Wall, but we all agree that it is an inseparable and integral part of Israel.

Mussar is a Jewish spiritual practice that can help each and every one of us become a mensch. The first step is to stop salivating on the non-menchy behavior or mistakes of others. Pirkei Avot (1:6) teaches that we should give all individuals the benefit of the doubt. Let’s be clear – I am not advocating giving Trump the benefit of the doubt, not given the pattern of behavior we have seen these last months in office. But the people who voted for them, how about we show them the benefit of the doubt?

Now more important than ever. We must resist the urge to say “I told you so”, or to characterize supporters on the other side as evil, racist, weak, stupid, or corrupt. To be frank, the last election no longer matters, nor does the next one. What matters is healing our community to stand together against a common threat. We saw a great example of this recently when Jewish students from across the political spectrum came together at Northwestern to protest a convicted Palestinian terrorist who was speaking.

The split between the Orthodox and the rest of the Jewish community is not a secret. If we can model menchy behavior, respectful speech, healing, and coming together towards a common position on the political crisis, imagine the example we could set for the rest of the world. For as it says in Proverbs 18:19 “It is harder to win an offended brother than a strong city.” And when we do, we shall be a “light to the nations— so that all the world may be saved.” Isaiah 49:6.

This is not a job you can outsource to someone else. Mussar practice offers a path in which we take responsibility for our own actions. As a first step, elevate your conduct on the internet, by replacing shaming and accusatory language with questioning, listening, and inviting another’s opinion into your worldview. As it says in Proverbs “To answer someone before hearing him out is both stupid and embarrassing.”

The good news is that we don’t need to model consensus or universal agreement. We just need to model how to disagree and remain in community. And when we do, the areas of common interest will rise to the fore.

Who will you reach out to today?

Looking for a Mussar book that focuses on social action? Check out Changing the World from the Inside Out: A Jewish Approach to Personal and Social Change by Rabbi David Jaffe on our Mussar Books page.

When it comes to Mussar basics, Pirkei Avot is high on the list. It is hard for me to describe the delight I felt while attending a wonderful webinar by Yaakov Feldman discussing my favorite lesson from Pirkei Avot. If you are not familiar with Pirkei Avot, you are in for a treat.

First, let me start by sharing the text of Pirkei Avot 4:1 (from Sefaria.org)

ben Zoma says: Who is the wise one? He who learns from all men, as it says, “I have acquired understanding from all my teachers” (Psalms 119:99).

Who is the mighty one? He who conquers his impulse, as it says, “slowness to anger is better than a mighty person and the ruler of his spirit than the conqueror of a city.” (Proverbs 16:32).

Who is the rich one? He who is happy with his lot, as it says, “When you eat [from] the work of your hands, you will be happy, and it will be well with you” (Psalms 128:2). “You will be happy” in this world, and “it will be well with you” in the world to come.

Who is honored? He who honors the created beings, as it says, “For those who honor Me, I will honor; and those who despise Me will be held in little esteem” (I Samuel 2:30).

ben Zoma is a hero of mine – he was not a Rabbi, and I find it inspiring that he teaches that we can learn from anyone. The soul trait of Honor reminds us that part of our mission in the world is to respect the Divine in everyone. Feldman explains this basic interpretation, and then turns it on it’s head. He reminds us that most people don’t know much, and that many people are fools. What are we to learn from them? Feldman says that we can learn from a fools mistakes. I was a bit uncomfortable with this lesson. Who am I to call another a fool? And moreover, are they a fool about everything? Then I remembered that, I wrote a blog post calling Bernie Sander’s supporters fools for blindly believing fake news about Hilary Clinton. It is an important lesson for all of us.

Feldman also contrasts the idea of learning from everyone with the idea of having one master to learn from. There are strands of Judaism that tend to follow a Rebbe, a singular leader, and branches of Mussar that limit the universe of texts from which we draw inspiration. I carry more of the ben Zoma sensibility – there are lessons to be learned from everyone. Yes, of course there are Rabbis and masters to learn from, but there are also more secular experts like Brene Brown, as well as menchy people in our own lives who may never have read a word of Torah. And, we can learn from our kids, parents, the check out person in the grocery store, and the homeless.

You are heartily invited to give the webinar a view. Rabbi Feldman goes on to discuss each of the parts of the teaching. Strength is measured by overcoming the worst part of ourself. I live the way Feldman kept saying “little by little” – that is how we do Mussar. The “little by little” approach works, and can show immediate results. Riches are measured by the Soul Trait of Gratitude, being content with what you have. (more below)

Feldman ends the webinar with an invitation to develop a personal relationship to God, to ask God questions and to make God a presence in your life. I know that many of you are not sure of the Divinity, and I admit that I found his suggestion somewhat jarring. But then again, he brings up an interesting point: When you learn to ask God for help, you learn to ask others for help too.

The whole webinar is part of a backstory to our Mussar practice. Ending with Humility – an invitation to ask for help – WOW.

Where do you need help in your life? Where do you want help? Are they the same? Take a few moments to write down an answer.

Interested in reading Pirkei Avot or other Mussar books? See the recommended translation on the Mussar Books page.

Hat tip to The Mussar Institute for producing the great webinar series about Pirkei Avot.

Mussar Practice Can Heal the Political Divide Within the Jewish Community

Mussar Basics: Pirkei Avot Asks Who Is Wise