American Mussar

21st century Jewish spiritual practice for an authentic and meaningful life

When 9/11 and Elul Collide: A Mussar Reflection on Life and Death

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9/11 and Elul Mussar reflection
Photo by Richard Fullbrook on Unsplash

When 9/11 and the 18th of Elul Fall on the Same Day

This morning, during my daily Psalm 27 meditation, I was struck by something unusual: September 11th coincides this year with the 18th of Elul.

Elul is the Jewish month of contemplation and reflection before the High Holidays. The 18th, meanwhile, corresponds to Chai, the Hebrew word for life. And of course, September 11th is the anniversary of the attack on the Twin Towers in New York and the Pentagon.

Contemplation. Life. Death. All on one day.

Sometimes my writing leans toward clarity. Today, it feels more like poetry. Because this year, the convergence of these two dates stopped me in my tracks: 18 for life, 9/11 for loss.

Holding Life and Death Together

It has already been a difficult week. Just yesterday, a teenager in Evergreen, Colorado, shot two classmates and himself. On the same day, conservative podcaster Charlie Kirk was assassinated while speaking on a college campus, his killing broadcast across TikTok.

And yet, on the other side of the ledger, there is life: Elizabeth Tsurkov was released from captivity in Iraq.

We are grateful that more people were not hurt in Evergreen, and still devastated knowing how many were traumatized. We grieve violence in our politics and feel the danger of what may come next.

Contemplating life and death is unavoidable. But Mussar teaches us not to immerse so deeply in sorrow that we lose sight of blessing.

Mussar Soul Traits for Days Like This

When I looked at the Mussar Center’s list of middot (soul traits), two spoke to me:

  • Self-Control (Perishut) – not giving in to despair, rage, or hopelessness.

  • Strength (Gevurah) – the courage to hold grief, while also making space for gratitude.

These traits remind me that even in dark times, we are not powerless. Mussar offers a path to respond with balance—feeling the weight of loss while still reaching for life.

Your Turn

Which traits speak to you today? When the world feels heavy, what inner qualities do you lean on to steady yourself?

I’d love to hear your reflections in the comments below.

—Rabbi Greg

Practice Mussar Order To Change a Bad Habit

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practice mussar order
Let there be light: The first step in creation

Recently, I taught a class where we discussed how to participate in the traditional Elul practice of preparing the the High Holy Days. I asked everyone to think of something they want to change about themselves.

One person shared that they are always late, and really want to change. It was clear from the sadness on their face that being late was painful to them, since they knew the impact it had on other people. With their permission, I suggested a practice to help change their persistent bad habit. The soul trait to practice is Order.

Order is one of the most powerful soul traits. The Hebrew is Seder, as in the Passover Seder. On Passover we use a guide book to help us recreate the experience again and again each year. Here is how each of us can practice Order to change a bad habit.

**************** Here’s a way to Practice Mussar Order ****************

  1. Pick one habit you’d like to change. We’ll use being on time as an example
  2. Choose one example of this habit, and focus on changing only that. In our example, you would pick one upcoming meeting to be on time for. Don’t try to be on time for everything, just try to be on time for one meeting one time.
  3. Put that meeting on the calendar, and write down of everything you need to do in order to be on time. Put those things on the calendar too.
  4. Continue to focus only on future instances of this meeting, using the same process until you are regularly on time for it.
  5. Pick a second circumstance you’d like to be on time for, and use the same process

For example, first focus on being on time for a weekly zoom class. Don’t worry about being on time for other things yet. After a few successes, you’ll use the same process to be on time for your Friday lunch with a friend. Lasting change happens slowly.
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What is spiritual about setting a goal, and a list of steps? Has this post devolved into self-help tips?

Think of the creation story in the book of Genesis. The first day there was light, the second sky, the third dry land followed by plants. We are shown an example of an orderly creation of everything. The Divine did not create plants before there was light. In fact, one Jewish teaching says that Torah existed before the creation, and was used as a blueprint for the universe. While I don’t believe that literally, The Torah as blueprint is a powerful metaphor illustrating how important planning is, and how creating Order is a holy activity.

Like all soul traits, Order exists on a spectrum. You may be disorganized like I am, or you may plan so much that it is hard to be spontaneous. There are no right or wrong answers, but there is a right approach, which is to be mindful, and seek to grow.

Mussar gives us the gift of bringing spiritual awareness to “ordinary” moments in everyday life.

How does Order show up for you? What is one habit that you can change by practicing Order?

Please comment below – I’ll answer every one.

Image by Tim Sullivan Sullny Photos