American Mussar

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Climb The Mussar Ladder of Voting Like Maimonides

November 5, 2018 By Greg Marcus 1 Comment

Mussar ladder of voting
Voting is just the first rung on the Mussar ladder of voting

What would Maimonides say about voting?

Maimonides, the great medieval Jewish philosopher, defined eight levels of giving charity. For example, we can give reluctantly and with regret, or we can give a large loan to help someone escape poverty entirely. Maimonides ladder of charity sets forth an important principle – there are levels of doing good, and each rung we climb brings us closer to heaven.  Inspired by Maimonides ladder of charity, Mussar can guide us to create a ladder of voting.

What might a Mussar ladder of voting look like? Each rung will bring more mindfulness, and a greater positive impact. And, each rung would be more about others, and less about ourselves.

The Mussar Ladder Of Voting. 

  1. Vote in the most important races. Given the length of the ballot, you may not have time to research every race. Rather than not voting, cast your ballot for what you deem to be the most important races. For example, you vote for the President and Senator, but don’t vote for the ballot measures or local officials.
  2. Vote in every race based on third party recommendations. Here, you are using party affiliation, and/or a voter guide to vote for each and every issue on the ballot. You are making your voice heard more widely, and thus taking on more responsibility for the outcome of the election. This approach also includes people who vote no on every ballot measure unless they have a very good reason to vote yes.
  3. Vote every line of the ballot based on personal research. Here, you are taking your responsibility to create a just society very seriously. You research each candidate, and make an informed decision for each one.
  4. Vote according to the totality of your values. Not only are you making an informed decision, you are making a moral one. Rabbi Ira Stone reminds us that Mussar is a practice to learn to bear the burden of the other. Consider the impact of the laws passed by your candidates on “the other”. Elections have consequences. If you are thinking only about yourself, you are missing the fundamental imperative of living a moral life.

Bringing morality to voting can be tricky. For example, some Fundamentalist Christians only vote for candidates who oppose abortion. And some Orthodox Rabbis have told people to vote against any candidate who supports gay marriage. While each of these positions are heartfelt and grounded in values, they run into the danger of idolatry. There is no one single Jewish value that encompasses them all, except for Rabbi Hillel’s teaching which says “That which is hateful to you, do not do to another.”

Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto wrote, “Just as Enthusiasm can result from an inner burning so can it create one. That is, one who perceives a quickening of his outer movements … conditions himself to experience a flaming inner movement.” May your zeal for a just world inspire you to climb the Mussar ladder of voting.

Where do you land on the Mussar ladder of voting? Should there be other rungs, like voting for other Jews, or people who share your ethnicity/religion; voting against anti-semites; or enabling others to vote? Please comment below and let me know.

You might also like 5 Ways Spirituality Can Fight Post Election Despair

Filed Under: Featured, Gratitude Tagged With: jewish voting, maimonides ladder of charity, mussar election

Practice Gratitude After Tree of Life?

November 1, 2018 By Greg Marcus 5 Comments

Gratitude after Tree of Life
Reverend Terry Gleason gives support and comfort from the Bimah

Is it too soon to practice Gratitude after Tree of Life? It was a massacre of our siblings on Shabbat. Less than a week later, I remain upset, sick, worried, sad, mad and confused.

I am working to make room for the sadness, as I described in the last post. And in that context, Gratitude after Tree of Life may seem a long way away. Yet is it exactly part of what we need to help get through.

The soul trait of Gratitude in Hebrew is Hakarat Ha’Tov, recognizing the good. In Mussar, we train ourselves to recognize the good, even in bad situations. I’ve done this mussar practice many times. While is works after I’ve gotten a parking ticket, or been in a painful argument with my wife, can it really help at a time like this?

Being grateful for the good and the bad is one of the most challenging Mussar lessons. Each and every time I facilitate a Mussar circle focusing on Gratitude, people initially get tripped up at the idea that we should give thanks for bad things.

The idea comes straight from the Talmud

One recites a blessing for the bad that befalls him just as he does for the good. Berachot 54a 

The word “recognizing” reminds us how often we take things for granted. Even in a terrible event, some good things happen that we can take for granted. Together, lets us try to practice Gratitude after Tree of Life.

****Here’s the Mussar Practice*****

Recognize the good and give thanks for the events after the murders. Being sad is the first mussar practice after the murders. Now lets try to find a few areas of light. Here are three things to be grateful for:

  1. We live in a country where police will rush into a building to protect us. Four police officers were wounded trying to save Jewish lives. Throughout our history, again and again, the police turned a blind eye or were complicit in killing us. It is wonderful and amazing to live in a country where today, the police risk their lives to protect us.
  2. We can be grateful to the people who care for the bodies of the dead. I don’t want his mother to see him this way, Don Corleone said to Bonasera the undertaker in the Godfather, referring to the bullet riddled body of Sonny. The Chevra Kadisha is the Jewish burial society who wash and care for the bodies of the dead. In Pittsburgh, a team of volunteers stood outside the Tree of Life synagogue through the night until the bodies were removed. Later, they cleaned the synagogue to gather all of the human remains for burial. Every day, all over the world, volunteers and professionals work to treat the bodies of the dead with dignity. Truly Holy and sacred work.
  3.  People are coming together. Sunday night I attended a community gathering hosted by my synagogue. I was astounded to see a traffic jam, and close to 1000 people jammed into our sanctuary and social hall. It lifted my heart to see so many people there to support each other. I can’t tell you how much it meant to me to hear from clergy from many faiths, including a woman who chanted the Koran from the Bimah. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard.

Be sure to verbalize your Gratitude after Tree of Life, both directly to the people you are grateful to, and to  third parties. 

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Almost 1000 years ago, Rabbi Bachya ibn Pakuda wrote “Many good things are left unenjoyed, and the happiness to be had from them becomes tainted either because people do not recognize the good in it, or they do not realize its value.” (Duties of the Heart.)

For me, there is no joy in recognizing the good in these circumstances. However, Gratitude after Tree of Life does ease the pain. A Mussar practice of Gratitude today means that, in the future we will not miss an opportunity to recognize the good, and enjoy something that can be enjoyed.

For the good will return. It is still here. We can and must find it again.

See also 15 Minutes of Gratitude Could Change Your Life

Filed Under: Featured, Gratitude, Mussar Practice Tagged With: grateful to police, gratitude tree of life, mussar practice gratitude

How I Beat Overwhelm With Jewish Wisdom

July 24, 2018 By Greg Marcus 10 Comments

Beat Overwhelm With Jewish Wisdom
Rabbi Sarah Weissman, my friend and mentor

This year of living distractedly continues for me. Lots of moving parts in my life, from mom’s health issues, travel, and prepping to launch a kiddo to college. My mind is filled with so many ideas, but I have been blocked about putting fingers to keys. The sense of overwhelm keeps coming in, and my mind  flits around and nothing gets done. And no, I don’t count the updates on Facebook, or the articles in the Forward/Tablet that I read online.

One source of joy and stability for me has been Jewish events and networking. Three days at the Limmud Bay Area Festival 2018 were just wonderful. I facilitated a session called Jewish Wisdom For Stress Free Parenting. It was magical – about 14 people that included an Orthodox woman nursing an 8 month old, 2 twenty something brothers without kids, a mom and her teen son, grandparents, fathers.

Having us all come together and share something was anything but overwhelming – it was peaceful. I am very grateful to my friend Estee Solomon Gray for both introducing me to Limmud, and all of the work she put in over the years to make the event successful.

Last weekend my wife and I went to the Beth Am Asilomar Retreat. It was a wonderful weekend of Jewish learning and Jewish community. I had a revelation while Rabbi Sarah Weissman was teaching us Talmud: Many people say that I am a very good facilitator.  I realized that when I am facilitating, I am channeling Rabbi Sarah’s method – there is never a wrong answer, no matter how “out there” a comment might seem at first glance. She infuses enthusiasm, creativity, and insight in the groups she facilitates, and we all walk away feeling empowered. I thanked Rabbi Sarah, and we had a nice chat. In those moments of conversation, I was anything but overwhelmed.

This experience inspired me to share a Mussar Practice. With it, you too can beat overwhelm with Jewish Wisdom.

****Here’s the Practice****

Speak in the name of someone. Pirkei Avot 6:6 lists 48 ways of acquiring Torah. One is “Saying a thing in the name of one who said it.”  Or put another way, give credit where credit is due. This practice reminds us not take for granted the good things in the world. They often have an origin, and in fact a person who brought them about. It also is a way to remind us that we did not get where we are on our own. Recognizing those who taught us, even small things, is a path towards both connection and order in the universe.

Take a few moments to think about some of your “go to moves” that make you successful. Who did you learn them from? Find a way to thank that person, and name them to others. For example, be sure to let people know whose recipe you are using, or who taught you the technique that helped you solve a problem at work.

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In each of the stories I shared above, connecting with others was a path out of overwhelm. And what better way to connect with others than to recognize a teacher? In Pirkei Avot 1:6, Yehoshua ben Perachia says, “Make for yourself a mentor, acquire for yourself a friend and judge every person as meritorious.”

Speaking in the name of your teacher is a step on the path for friendship and mentorship. And if your teacher is no longer alive, you make their memory a blessing by invoking their name with what they taught you.

Please begin this practice by sharing the name of a teacher below, and what they taught you.

Filed Under: Featured, Gratitude, Honor Tagged With: 48 ways of acquiring Torah, Beat Overwhelm With Jewish Wisdom, jewish wisdom, mussar practice, rabbi sarah weissman

2016 Was a Year of Wonder

January 4, 2017 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

2016 Was a Year of WonderAs I wrote in my last post, I was among many people who felt an urge to wish 2016 away. It was a year of personal and emotional hardship for me in many ways. It started with two friends who died in their 50s… at this point I have a mental list of people with cancer, personal illness, and a litany of bad news in 2016, culminating with you know who and you know what. That is yesterday’s bad news. Today I realize that 2016 Was a Year of Wonder

 

I am practicing Gratitude, which sports the mantra “Give thanks for the good and the bad.”
One of the things I am most Grateful for is Hanukkah – it brought light at a time of darkness.  One of you wrote the following in response to last weeks post, and it give me hope. You wrote, If 2016 has thought me anything, it’s that life has its own story and how that story is told is determined by those who live in it who can set the darkest of nights against the backdrop of a new dawn and day! Better times will come.

 

Another one of you wrote a moving tribute to your father who passed away. I love the way you said My father was known for his kindness…and while I am good at being kind to strangers, it is those I am closest to that I wish to work on being more of that with. I can so relate to that – I too want to be better with those closest to me. And my fathers illness brought us closer this year.

 

In addition to the litany of bad news, 2016 was a year of absolute wonder for me. Just before writing you, I did the 15 Minute Gratitude Challenge, and identified some amazing milestones last year:  One daughter became Bat Mitzvah, and another was confirmed. One daughter discovered a love of volleyball, and the other got her drivers license. My wife had a meaningful milestone, and she and I celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary. My cats turned seven, and I turned 50. And my dream of having a Mussar book was realized. The outpouring of love an support related to the book has truly been remarkable.

 

But none of that compares to the miracle of the Cubs winning the world series. I mean seriously, who can’t feel good about that? No, Cleveland fans, of course I did not forget you. I’m sure you are really bummed, but I also suspect at least some of you feel hope that if the Cubs can win, then the Indians day will come too. And the Cavs won it all, beating my Warriors. You see, for every winner in sports, someone has to lose. For every loss in an election, someone wins.

 

In Mussar, there are no winners or losers. Why? Because Mussar is a spiritual exercise. It looks at the world differently, with a sense of wonder and gratitude. It does not mean that there are not issues to deal with. There are, but with a spiritual outlook the context and coloring is improved. Our task is to improve ourselves, which adds light to the world, and makes everyone else better too.

 

But I really got energized and jazzed reading this list of amazing things that happened in 2016. Please skip the beginning of the article that rehashes the sorrow of 2016. A few things on the list with particular meaning for me:
  • 200 people attending the funeral of a homeless vet with no family. This is just awesome, and reminds me of the Jewish practice of everyone standing and reciting Kadish (the mourning prayer) in services together. Even if we do not have someone specific we are saying Kadish for, we say it for those who may not have someone to say it for them, or for people who died in the Holocaust and may not have family left today.
  • New chemotherapy treatments, robotic limbs directly connected to the brain, and a decrease in child mortality worldwide. As Rabbi Yitz Greenberg reminded me earlier this year, Jews are on team life. How can I not rejoice at this news?
  • Portugal and Costa Rica ran their entire countries on renewable energy for a few days, India planted 50 million trees in 24 hours, and California has 6 million solar roofs. And, Pandas and many other animals came off the endangered species lists. This is significant progress in our task to repair the world.

 

This list, and the Twitter hashtag #GoodThingsin2016 that reminds me of advice from Fred Rogers, who reminded us that in every disaster, there are always helpers. And Mussar teaches us that we have a choice whether or not to be a helper.

 

I’ll admit it – I am feeling super energized by writing you this letter. I am reminded of the time when I was a super helper last year – I left my power cord at the library with a young woman taking her end of year exams. I was awake enough and aware enough to see an opportunity to make someone’s day. That was an easy one. Now the task is to find a way to be a helper every day.

 

Should we have a live event, a Google hangout or Zoom video call to share some of the experiences we had helping others in 2016?

 

For now, you are invited to do three things.
1. Take the 15 minute Gratitude Challenge. Click Here to take the challenge.
2. Read about the amazing things that happened in 2016, and then comment below to let me know what resonates with you.
3. Set an intention for 2017 – what will you do to be a helper?

 

2016 Was a Year of Wonder, if we remember to look for it.

 

Here’s to an amazing 2017, filled with wonder and community.

 

Want to learn more about Mussar and Gratitude? Here’s a free preview of the Gratitude content from the American Mussar cycle.

Filed Under: Awe, Featured, Gratitude Tagged With: awe, choice points, gratitude, Hanukkah, Mussar, mussar yirah, wonder, year of wonder

How to Give Unconditional Loving Thanks

November 22, 2016 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

This is a difficult time in this country for many people. This time of fear, sorrow, and uncertainty is exactly the time when we need to cling to our spirituality, and draw close with this we most care about. This Thanksgiving, lets turn to Rabbi Nachman of Breslov to help us learn how to give unconditional loving thanks. Rabbi Nachman (1772–1811) taught that music is a way of directly hacking the soul to make a connection with the Divinity, and to unlock the joy latent within all of us.

Kind and Generous by Natalie Marchant brings up special memories for me. I took my wife Rachel to a 10,000 Maniacs concert for her 25th birthday. We had been dating just a few months and we had an amazing time. The concert was pivotal for us, and remains a huge milestone in a love that continues to grow more than 20 years later.

I can in no way adequately express the gratitude I feel towards her every day. So I’ll let Natalie speak for me. I read the lyrics to the song (here) and if I pasted every section that spoke to me, I’d be accused of plagiarism. So here is the passage that speaks to me the most.

You’ve been so kind and generous
I don’t know how you keep on giving
For your kindness I’m in debt to you
And I never could have come this far without you
So for everything you’ve done

Who is close to you in your life that you want to thank for being there? Friend, lover, parent, mentor?

Maybe it is a stranger who showed you kindness just when you needed it the most.

A Mussar Gratitude Practice to Give Unconditional Loving Thanks

Visualization is a powerful technique to get in touch with the soul, and this song is just perfect for a Mussar visualization. Please join me in this visualization exercise, to open the heart to unhindered loving action.

To prepare, get your Mussar journal or a piece of paper, something to write with, and make yourself comfortable.

Start the recording, and close your eyes.

Just listen to the music, and allow the words to wash over you. No analysis. Just listen, and allow images to form in your mind.

Who do you see?

What do you feel?

When the song ends, leave your eyes closed for a few minutes. Take a few relaxing breaths, and then write down what you experienced. Who did you see? What came to you?

And finally, how can you give unconditional loving thanks you felt towards the one you care about?

Write down your intention, including a specific time and place when you will act. For example, you might write “At dinner tonight, I will thank my husband in front of the kids.” Or it might be “On Thanksgiving, I will call my sister at 11 AM and thank her for being there. Or maybe you will write a thank you note to your best friend who you haven’t talked to in 2 years.

Please share your intention below.

Ready to start your own Mussar Journey? Take the Soul Trait Profile Quiz now. 

You might also like: 15 Minutes of Gratitude Could Change Your Life

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Filed Under: Featured, Gratitude Tagged With: giving thanks, Jewish gratitude, kind and generous, mussar gratitude, natalie marchant

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