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Help Identify and Support Eight Points of Light This Hanukkah

December 6, 2015 By Greg Marcus 6 Comments

You can Help Identify and Support Eight Points of Light This Hanukkah. American Mussar Will select Eight local charities to receive a Point of Light Award, one for each night of Chanukah. And you get to help choose which charities AM will give to.

All you need to do is go to the American Mussar Facebook page, and post the name of the charity, a link to the donation page, and a sentence or two describing what they do.

At the end of each day, American Mussar will pick one of the organizations nominated that day, and BOOM: we’ll donate $180. Not only that, every entry will get free publicity on the American Mussar Facebook page. And, we will interview the director of the charity, and write a blog post the following day about each and every one of the eight winners. Thus, these worthy organizations will get some exposure on a national level, and we’ll use the example of their work to teach an American Mussar practice.

Why American Mussar Is Recognizing Eight Local Charities

American Mussar teaches us how to bring our Soul towards balance by taking action.

Did you know that word Chanukah means rededication? The Israelites needed to rededicate the Temple after it was defiled by the Greeks. In addition to our usual Chanukah activities, like giving presents and eating latkes, we have an opportunity to do some rededication work as well.

American Mussar teaches that we all have a Divine spark that is occluded by our baggage. If you are unsure of the Divinity, you can think of this as the spark of humanity that we all share. Rabbi Yoel Glick likens the Divine Spark to the light of Chanukah. Rabbi Glick teaches that our Divine spark is a source of “amazing inner strength,” which gives us “the courage to face anything.” Moreover, he urges us to reorder our life towards Divine service. And if you are unsure of the Divinity, Divine service simply means making the world a better place.

We’d love to help you make your community a better place by supporting a local philanthropy. Please take a moment and go to the American Mussar Facebook page to nominate a group. While a given charity can win only once, they can be entered again each day. Click here to go to Facebook.

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The Mussar Perspective on the Chicago Police

December 3, 2015 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

This week I’ve started practicing the Soul Trait of Responsibility for the first time. It seemed fitting somehow, as I met the Tuesday deadline for the second round of edits to my manuscript. The Hebrew word for the Responsibility Soul Trait can be translated as either “after” or “other.” The “after” translation leads one to interpret the soul trait in terms of consequences – we are responsible when we understand and account for the consequences of our actions. The “other” translation brings our attention to the needs of other people, and thus we are responsible when we are looking out for other people.

I also thought of Responsibility when Rahm Emmanuel fired the police superintendent for the suppressed video of Laquan McDonald’s killing. Emmanuel is the antithesis of responsibility, throwing anyone he can under the bus when it seems clear to me that his interest was served by keeping the video out of the spotlight during his re-election campaign. But it is not for us to kibitz Emmanuel’s spiritual curriculum. I am more interested in the “blue wall of silence” culture in the Chicago PD and other police departments, in which police officers close ranks to cover up wrongdoing by other officers by remaining silent, making false statements, or destroying evidence. Here is my Mussar perspective on the Chicago Police.

Mussar teaches that Responsibility governs our sensitivity to the needs of others, and of the consequences of our actions. Chicago PD shows neither.

Officer Jason Van Dyke, the shooter, has a history of excessive force complaints. One resulted in a $350K payout for excessive force, and in this case, -‘s mother was paid $5M. Here is my solution:

Have 10% of the funds for police excessive force or wrongful death settlements come from the police pension fund.

A police officer’s pension is highly prized, and having a portion of the settlement money come from the pensions gives every officer an incentive to get cops with repeated complaints like Van Dyke off the force. Imagine what would happen if it could cost every officer money if a cop starts to beat up a suspect? The other officers would say “knock it off” to nip it in the bud before it became a systemic issue.

Usually it is a small number of bad actors who account for the majority of excessive force complaints. For example, none of the 8 other officers on the scene fired their weapons, but all of them participated in the cover up. Let’s make a clear consequence, to give each of them an incentive to practice Responsibility. Instead of thinking of their fellow cops first, they must be retrained to be responsible to the public. And I don’t mean lecture training – I mean pocketbook-consequences training.

What do you think?

iAMResponsible

Greg

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Should I Be Grateful That I’m White?

November 26, 2015 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

On this Thanksgiving morning, on a day when Americans have a special opportunity to be grateful for what they have, I am asking myself a question: Should I be grateful that I’m white? Mussar teaches that we should be grateful for the good, the bad, and those things we take for granted. It is in the latter category that my question falls. There is just one problem: I don’t think of myself as white. I think of myself as Jewish. If you look at my picture with Snoopy, with my Giants World Series Champions shirt (the third in five years) my skin tone looks white enough.

You might wonder why I don’t think if myself as white, even though my skin tone is light. The reason is that I’ve on occasion been the victim of anti-semitism, and I figure that anyone who hates or discriminates against blacks or other minorities would also hate me. While I still think that is true, I also think I am underestimating the impact of my skin color.

I started asking myself the question after getting up and reading the Huff post story about the Chicago police officer who shot Laquan McDonald 16 Times as he was walking away from the police. The officer, Jason Van Dyke was charged with murder one year later, only after the courts ordered the release of a dash-cam video showing the shooting. Van Dyke has never been disciplined for excessive use of force, despite at least 20 complaints against him. Want to get depressed or outraged to start your holiday? Read this story about how bad the racism problem is at the Chicago PD. The cover up stinks, all the way up to Mayer Rahm Emmanuel. Officers clearly lied in their official statements, and for a year the city refused to release the video, saying it would impede an investigation or some such thing.

So getting back to my question, maybe I should absolutely be grateful that my skin is white. It kind of makes me feel sick to write that, because it means that I am admitting that the color of my skin gives me advantages. It is an uncomfortable feeling, but it is undoubtedly true. The chances that I would be stopped, harassed, or shot by the police are vastly lower because of my skin color. And that reveals what I am really grateful for: I I am grateful that today I live in a country where the police are not a danger to me because of my religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or gender. To be grateful for my skin color per se would reinforce a racial identity that would leave me vulnerable to stereotypes, and to my own hidden bias.

You don’t need to be a member of the Nazi party or the KKK to have a ethnic, religious, or gender bias. Hidden bias is increasingly well understood by psychologists, and it scares the crap out of me to think that I could have some program running in the background that impacts my behavior. Well news to you Greg, you do have a subconscious that impacts your behavior, and not all of it is pretty. You know from Mussar that we have an inner conflict between the Good and Evil Inclinations. (I’ll say more about them in a future post. You can read more about the inclinations here for now. ) After I submit my book, I’ll take Project Implicit’s Hidden Bias Test, and try to learn more about my own biased attitudes.

Enough – in spite of these darker musings, I am so grateful for many things in my life. I am grateful for my family, friends, and to my readers. The road to self discovery also means allowing time to enjoy the good things, and having a weekend with family is oh so special.

What are you grateful for?

#iAMGrateful

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Mussar Lessons After Paris Terrorist Attack

November 19, 2015 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

Like most of us, I was saddened and horrified by the attacks in Paris on Friday night. I was traveling, and did not fully immerse myself in the news until a few days later. The responses are all over the map.

There are a significant number of people who blame “the other” for the attacks. Many politicians seem to be reacting from fear by calling for restrictions on Syrian refugees. Yet the reality is that most of the terrorists were European citizens. Other leaders make rational, data driven arguments that the refugees are victims of trauma themselves, and merit our help not scorn. Ok, I’ll admit it: I’m disgusted to see politicians grandstanding and saying that they won’t accept Syrian refugees in their states. However, I think the real issue for us to grapple with is the appropriate spiritual response to Paris. I don’t mean prayer or calls for peace. Rather, I ask myself what do the Paris attacks trigger my own Soul Traits? How can I work on my spiritual curriculum? Do my own actions bring people together, or do they ever lead anyone to feel alienated or alone?

Mussar Lessons After Paris Terrorist Attack

The debate about the refugees reminds me of the struggle inside all of us between the Good Inclination and the Evil Inclination. The Evil Inclination comes from our emotional drives and survival impulses. When there is an attack, the EI screams “Protect Protect” and automatically looks externally for threats. In contrast, Good Inclination derives from our social and intellectual abilities. The GI will look at data, offer a rational course of action, and reminds us that we all share a Divine Spark. When we remember the Divine Spark in the other, the bar is much higher for judgement and reactivity. And, the GI fosters our desire to give comfort to others in need.

When something like the Paris attacks happen, we are all tested.

A government can close its borders. An an individual can close his or her heart.

It is far easier to see this issue as something in Europe and the Middle East. It is more comfortable to frame the discussion around military solutions or refugee assistance than it is to take the opportunity to look within. The French government should ask of the welfare of it’s citizens of North African ancestry. Yes, Isis funded and trained people, and I think a military response is warranted. However, the masterminds and most attackers were European. I admit it, I notice that the attackers do not look like the people I think of as typical Europeans. But if I let the difference in skin tone color my reactions, I will have failed an important spiritual test. I need to rise to the occasion, and train myself to think of these dark skinned people born in France as French.

But even then, if I am only thinking of Europe, I will miss the greater test. Did you see the article in the Huffpost about the conversation between Alex Malloy and his Muslim cab driver in New York City? Malloy was thanked by his cab driver when he got in. Why? He was the first fare the driver had had in two hours. You see, the driver was a Muslim, and no one would get in his cab. Malloy wrote on twitter that the driver was crying, and said “Allah my God does not want this but people think I am a part of it and I’m not. Nobody wants to drive with me bc they feel unsafe.” Malloy expressed his support, shared his experience on Twitter and was shocked to find over 30K retweets overnight. “Please stop generalizing ppl” was his plea. While I don’t know Alex Malloy personally, I thank him for having an open heart when the taxi pulled to the curb to offer him a ride.

Please stop generalizing captures the spiritual challenge when our soul trait of Honor is out of balance. We were born to judge, and few of us will ever escape our instinct to judge any time soon. (I know that I won’t.) However, we do not have to listen to or act on the judging voice. We have the opportunity to overcome our judgements and unconscious bias on a daily basis.

Just now, someone’s computer in the library started playing a loud video. My first thoughts about the person were unkind. My instinct was to pick up the sign saying “quiet area” and put it on his table. Thankfully I did not act on the impulse. It was only when he managed to shut off whatever was happening did I realize that it was an ad that started playing without his permission.

If Parisians can overcome their fears to flock back to the cafes and museums, than surely I can find a way to mentally quiet my judging voice more quickly. And, I’d like to think I can find a way to support the Stranger in my own community. After all, I was once a stranger in the land of Egypt.

I hope that you did not lose someone close to you in the attack, and may we all find the resolve to become better people.

#iAMHonor.

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How Do We Show Gratitude Towards Veterans?

November 11, 2015 By Greg Marcus Leave a Comment

On this Veterans Day, I was working on the Gratitude chapter of my forthcoming book. On the drive home, I heard the end of a discussion of Vets in college. The speaker made reference to the loneliness that many Veterans feel. She suggested that they try to reach out to different professors or professionals. As she put it, “Educators love to help people. We don’t do it for the the money, and if you don’t connect with the first person, try someone else.”

While my father and grandfather were both in the service, few of my friends are veterans, and none of them were in combat. The reality is, I don’t have the slightest idea what combat veterans have gone through. My knowledge comes from movies like The Hurt Locker and American Sniper. In each movie, a veteran comes home, and really struggles to re-integrate into society.

One common approach that I’ve seen and used myself is to say, “Thank you for your service.” I’m told that this can make Veterans uncomfortable. They feel it is their duty to serve, and further, sometimes the generic “thank you for your service” can come across with an unspoken “I don’t know why you did it, because I sure never would have signed up to go to war.” For me, the “thank you for your service” at least gave me something to say. So if that statement isn’t appropriate, what is?

One thing that comes to mind is a phrase I picked up from an essay by Sheryl Sandberg about dealing with people after the accidental death of her husband. Sandberg explained that the question, “How are you today?” displayed a sensitivity because it acknowledged that globally she is far from fine, and allowed for a relative answer. I don’t know how well that will translate to the case of talking to a Veteran, because they may or may not be struggling personally. Perhaps the answer is to ask a personalized question, like “When did you serve?” or “How has the transition back to civilian life been for you?”

Hmmm, the latter is a bit scary, because it opens the door to an answer that could be intense.

Mussar started this line of thought for me, so perhaps Mussar can help answer the question. How do we show Gratitude towards Veterans? The Soul Trait Gratitude is a measure of how we see the world. The literal translation from the Hebrew for this Soul Trait is “Recognizing the good,” as in finding the good in any situation that life puts you in. Part of practicing Gratitude is not taking things for granted, and we certainly should not take it for granted that people are willing to volunteer for combat duty. Yet if we shouldn’t say “thank you,” what should we do?

One approach is to practice Honor, which teaches us to honor the Divine Spark in others. Rabbi Alan Lew wrote that when we look at life through a spiritual lens, for every situation we ask ourselves “How did I contribute to this situation?” and “What can I do to make sure it doesn’t happen again?” We live in a country where our Veterans suffer from PTSD, depression, and commit suicide at an alarming rate. Maybe the answer is on two fronts:

Personal connection as above when we meet or know a Veteran, as above
Action in the political arena. For example, too long we tolerated a government that did not adequately fund the VA. I read an encouraging article today that a growing number of cities and states have resolved to end Veteran homelessness.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on the subject. I really am looking for answers, and additional ways to either connect or help. Please share your ideas below.

#iAMGrateful

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