Recently, I taught a class where we discussed how to participate in the traditional Elul practice of preparing the the High Holy Days. I asked everyone to think of something they want to change about themselves.
One person shared that they are always late, and really want to change. It was clear from the sadness on their face that being late was painful to them, since they knew the impact it had on other people. With their permission, I suggested a practice to help change their persistent bad habit. The soul trait to practice is Order.
Order is one of the most powerful soul traits. The Hebrew is Seder, as in the Passover Seder. On Passover we use a guide book to help us recreate the experience again and again each year. Here is how each of us can practice Order to change a bad habit.
**************** Here’s a way to Practice Mussar Order ****************
- Pick one habit you’d like to change. We’ll use being on time as an example
- Choose one example of this habit, and focus on changing only that. In our example, you would pick one upcoming meeting to be on time for. Don’t try to be on time for everything, just try to be on time for one meeting one time.
- Put that meeting on the calendar, and write down of everything you need to do in order to be on time. Put those things on the calendar too.
- Continue to focus only on future instances of this meeting, using the same process until you are regularly on time for it.
- Pick a second circumstance you’d like to be on time for, and use the same process
For example, first focus on being on time for a weekly zoom class. Don’t worry about being on time for other things yet. After a few successes, you’ll use the same process to be on time for your Friday lunch with a friend. Lasting change happens slowly.
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What is spiritual about setting a goal, and a list of steps? Has this post devolved into self-help tips?
Think of the creation story in the book of Genesis. The first day there was light, the second sky, the third dry land followed by plants. We are shown an example of an orderly creation of everything. The Divine did not create plants before there was light. In fact, one Jewish teaching says that Torah existed before the creation, and was used as a blueprint for the universe. While I don’t believe that literally, The Torah as blueprint is a powerful metaphor illustrating how important planning is, and how creating Order is a holy activity.
Like all soul traits, Order exists on a spectrum. You may be disorganized like I am, or you may plan so much that it is hard to be spontaneous. There are no right or wrong answers, but there is a right approach, which is to be mindful, and seek to grow.
Mussar gives us the gift of bringing spiritual awareness to “ordinary” moments in everyday life.
How does Order show up for you? What is one habit that you can change by practicing Order?
Please comment below – I’ll answer every one.
Image by Tim Sullivan Sullny Photos
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