It has been just over three months since my mother died. The acute pain has faded, but I find I miss her more every day. This weekend life gave me a few hiccups, small things that has an oversized impact on me. It was a perfect storm of misunderstandings that unsettled me. It was just the kind of thing I could talk to her about without embarrassment, and she would have helped me feel better.
I spoke to a friend recently who told me how they set a boundary which helped them deal with a sticky situation. It made me realize that boundaries were at the crux of the issue that set me off.
And, surprise surprise, boundaries are intimately connected with the soul trait of Humility, the subject of this weeks Jewish Wisdom For Coping with a Pandemic gathering. Which brings us to a Mussar practice you can try:
*********** Here’s the Mussar Practice For Humility ****************
Build or break down a boundary. Humility is about finding one’s proper place in the universe. As Alan Morinis wrote “No more than my space, not less than my place.” I took a risk to allow someone into “my place” that did not work out well. But I also have brought down boundaries that kept me from calling old friends, which has been wonderful. And earlier this year, I constructed boundaries around social media and news that opened the mental space to allow me to grieve and heal.
Building or breaking down a boundary can help you guard your space from people who will drain your energy, or let people in to give you the support you need.
What boundary will you construct, respect or break down?
See the video the from the Jewish Wisdom For Coping with a Pandemic that explored Humility and Boundaries