Thank you for staying with your American Mussar practice long enough to get to Gratitude. Mussar is about taking action, and because you are taking action, you are making small changes in your Soul.
Gratitude is the Soul Trait that teaches how to recognize the good in any situation. One might think it is easy to be grateful in good situations. Not necessarily. Sometimes when something good happens, we look for the catch or hidden meaning, or we are just in the habit of waiting for the other shoe to drop. Gratitude reminds us to give thanks for the good in our life.
Complacency also can lead to a lack of gratitude. We take the good things in life for granted, such as our home, friends and even being alive. Sometimes people diagnosed with a terminal illness say they savor every day. Wouldn’t it be great to feel that way without having cancer?
Mussar also teaches that we should find the good in bad situations. For example, at the time the loss of a job may feel terrible and scary. Yet it may offer opportunities to change career, spend more time with family, or get back in shape.
The goal of the soul trait is to become mindful of all the good in our life, and to find that good in any situation.
Too Little Gratitude: Despondent
Too Much Gratitude: Complacent
Practice:
American Mussar practice has three parts: a morning mantra, daily actions, and journaling. If you haven’t done so already, watch the video above.
Mantra
Write the following mantra on an index card, and place it by your bedside
Give thanks for the good and the bad.
In the morning, recite the phrase out loud several times and contemplate the meaning. This will frame your thoughts for the day. Pay attention to times when your Gratitude Soul Trait comes into play.
Action
If you tend towards too little Gratitude, focus on saying something positive before you say anything negative.
If you tend towards too much Gratitude, practice Enthusiasm by taking action. It may be that Humility or Honor are out of balance. Focus on taking action to take care of yourself.
You don’t need to do anything dramatic – just take a small step outside of your comfort zone.
Journaling
A gratitude journal has been shown to make people happier and less stressed because they focus on the positive instead of the negative in their lives. If you do not have a regular journaling practice, take a few minutes to write down the things you are grateful for at the end of each day in your Mussar Journal.
This Gratitude Practice is part of the 13 Week American Mussar Cycle. You an purchase the entire cycle by clicking here
Janet Cappellanti-Adams says
I could never have enough gratitude!
Greg Marcus says
Thank you Janet for your comment.
Joe says
I am not sure if giving thanks for all the bad is necessarily in the cards, but one does learn from their mistakes and this is good.
Greg Marcus says
Joe – it is counterintuitive to give thanks for the bad. Another way to think of it is to find the good in any situation, and be thankful for that piece of good. It isn’t easy, as I am experiencing right now. See my comment below.
Greg Marcus says
It always seems that whatever soul trait I am practicing is the one I need to be practicing at the moment.
I am writing as I sit home with pneumonia while the rest of my family is off camping at Lake Tahoe. Last week I felt worse, with a horrible fever. Two weeks and I am out of commission. The last thing I want to do right now is to count my blessings.
I am grateful that I am well enough to be left home alone – last week I could not have been. I am grateful that I won’t have to miss the Democratic Convention – as a political junkie, I’ve never missed one. I am grateful that my cats are here, my parents are well, I have people who are making suggestions for movies and tv shows to watch on Netflix.
I just stopped to take a deep breath to think about what else I am grateful for, and I could hear birds singing out the window. They have been singing the whole time.
Karan Maurer says
I have found that being grateful for the negative things that happen can often be more important than being grateful for the positive things. When something bad happens we find it hard to accept and think that it shouldn’t have happened to us. This keeps us stuck.
In situations like this, it helps to start by being grateful for the feelings we have about the situation. I found it easier to feel grateful for my grief over the death of my father than trying to be grateful for his passing. Being grateful for my grief allowed me to understand that my grief came from how much I loved and missed him.
Being grateful for my grief helped me see how much my father’s wisdom had contributed to my life. I can more easily accept his death when I can see that I still value all the things he taught me and I know I still have his love in my heart.
Greg Marcus says
Dear Karen – thank you so much for sharing this practice. I love the way you relate it to being unstuck, and found something to be grateful for. My your father’s memory be a blessing.